The Western Whirlwind of Destruction which has been constantly blowing across this country for decades and undermining the morals of the Youth, of more recent times has found new victims in young men Muslim men, and women who appear to be voluntarily stepping into its evil path. And whilst this “Tornado of the West” is leaving in its wake a continuous trail of crushed moral values amongst our young brothers and sisters, the parents are openly and unashamedly displaying an attitude of incredible irresponsibility by aiding and abetting the youngsters in their suicidal ventures.
Clear evidence of this gross misbehavior can be found, for instance, at Muslim weddings and engagement parties where the type of conduct reminiscent of the western way of life is fully exercised in its most naked form, where Muslim men and women, boys and girls, act and do things that have nothing in common with the actions and doings of true Muslims. Indeed, some of the formalities which are considered indispensable (by modern standards) at these gatherings are in diametric conflict with Islam and reminiscent of the times of jahiliyyah (ignorance).
Notwithstanding the fact that western-style garments are designed primarily to emphasize the shape of the female body and to attract the attention of members of the opposite sex, these immodest apparels are worn by Muslim women who, in anticipation of the opportunity to show themselves off at impending weddings or engagements, start making preparations on a lavish scale by acquiring the more “modern” versions of these abominably styled clothing.
What is even more deplorable is the practice of equipping the bride with several of these immodestly designed suits, and subjecting her to a most humiliating display on an elaborately prepared stage after clothing her in an exquisite western wedding gown and obliterating all her natural beauty with western cosmetics. And to ensure perfection in the scrupulously observed rituals of the west, the bride is provided with a retinue of bridesmaids, flower-girls, and page-boy, with their faces similarly disfigured with the same satanic object of attracting the maximum of lustful stares.
Crowds of people, including fashionably dressed men, are then allowed to queue up to see the “puppet show” and quench their unholy thirsts whilst trampling under their feet all Islamic standards of modesty. This slaughter of Islamic morals and principles by no means ends here. Some parents even go further and not only permit but actively encourage couples to meet and speak, dine and dance and roam around together in cars in blatant violation of the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.).
These extremely dangerous divergences from traditional Islamic precepts are becoming more and more common, and their perpetrators more and more shameless. In some Muslim weddings, even dancing forms part of these revolting innovations. In the words of Dr. E.S. Sonners, “…..social dancing is fundamentally sinful and evil…..It is nothing more or less than damnable, diabolical, animal, physical dissipation”. It is certainly not beyond one’s imagination to think of the lustful gazes and corruption of the minds of young, impressionable audiences which such diabolical displays are bound to cause.
And as an ironical prelude, some invitation cards printed to advertise these most insidious and sinful programs are headed: “In the Name of Allah…….”. What a mockery of Islamic ethics! The following are some of the practices that are meticulously carried out during matrimonial affairs despite the fact that they are either expressly forbidden in Shariah, or have no bases in Islam: The engaged couple meets at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring onto her finger whilst the two look romantically at each other.
This act is void of modesty and completely foreign to Islamic culture. It is furthermore, a flagrant violation of the Quranic Law of Purdah. It is an evil innovation of the godless west, and those indulging in it should take cognizance of the Prophet’s stern warning that “those who imitate others will rise on the Day of Judgement as of them”.
The prohibition in Islam of the gathering and free mixing of the sexes is nowhere else more flagrantly violated than at engagement and wedding feasts. Members of both sexes, young and old, are accommodated in the same tent or hall without so much as a curtain partition between them and to add insult to injury, women, including immodestly dressed young spinsters, are waited upon by men. What shameless impudence on the part of the organizers, who appear to be blissfully unaware of the tremendous responsibility which they must shoulder for the resultant decline in the moral standard of the Muslims.
Another very indecent practice copied from the west is the appearance on the stage together of the married couple after the Nikah. Here, the new husband presents his bride with a wedding ring, kisses her, and then (in a growing number of cases) allows his friends to kiss her too! and that in full view of the hundreds of guests! This is indeed the total and tragic destruction of Islamic modesty and shame.
It has become a normal thing at Muslim weddings for the bridegroom to appear before his mother-in-law to be showed with confetti and gifts of rings, ties, hankies, etc. in full view of women guests whose envious eyes and flattering tongues add to the morbidity of the whole act. The parents take great pride in making a public display of the bride’s “trousseau”, and advertising all the individual items therein, thus wasting valuable time and effort which could otherwise have been more fruitfully spent in teaching the bride how to conduct herself with credit in her new responsibilities.
This show (of the “trousseau”) is motivated by the spiritually destructive elements of “Riya”(ostentation) and “Takabbur”(pride). A large number of Nikah are performed in a specially rented hall or tent. The Mosque as a central pivot of all Muslim religious activity is often ignored. It is no exaggeration to say that many people regard a Nikah at the Musjid as “inconvenient” simply because they are well aware that some of their ill-conceived western rituals are too shameless to be permitted there.
However, according to the Tradition of the Prophet(S.A.W.) marriages performed in the House of Allah, immediately preceded and followed by prayers, will attract the maximum of Allah’s Blessings, whereas this is not, and cannot, be the case where alternative venues are chosen with the express purpose of facilitating the performance of things Un-Islamic. Many people are known to be laboring under the misconception that the conduction of marriages on certain specific Islamic dates is contrary to Islamic Law.
Such beliefs are not only unfounded but are also against the grain of common sense. Likewise, the notion that it is incumbent upon the bride to spend her first Ramadaan and Eid after marriage at the parents’ home has no basis in Islam. In recent years, more and more innovatory and satanic western practices have been added by the Muslim commercial elites whose coffers are bursting at the seams as a result of the inflationary trends and economic booms of the past decade.
Among these are the European-orientated fashions of printing expensive, pictorially-embossed “thank you” cards, and, more despicably, the insidious practice of a male member of the family escorting the bride arm-in-arm from the comparative seclusion of her home, through the mixed crowd of envious guests, right on to the stage for the ultimate “puppet” show, and all these farcical and morbid, soul-destroying scenes being “shot” for posterity by specially appointed and professionally equipped “video and photography” teams, with a fully-fledged and “high ranking” musical band in close attendance!
Within the self-same decade, the progressive deterioration of the bride’s wedding-day garments from bad to worse in the very latest and obnoxious “see-thru” materials has been causing grave misgivings among the Ulama, many of whom are known to have turned down invitations from close acquaintances for fear of being confronted with scenes too shameless to comprehend.
Several more instances can be cited where a great deal of expense and trouble are incurred over acts that are counter-productive of Islamic ethical and moral values. It is a tragic fact that each year hundreds of thousands of Ranks are squandered in the process of upholding and intensifying these senseless, soul-destroying procedures. “Lo! the squanderers were ever brothers of the devils, and the devil was ever an ingrate to his Lord.” “The best of marriage is one over which the least trouble and expense have been incurred” is a most off-flouted maxim of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.).
The Great Master’s sound teachings have been thoughtlessly and savagely thrown overboard and substituted by the fast-decaying cultural values of the godless west. Someone was heard to remark at a recent wedding reception: “Here is part of the reason for the drought.and for escalating Muslim divorce rate….(to heights unknown in previous generations)…and for the downward plunge of the Muslims. into the abyss of physical and spiritual destruction in his world and the next…”
Example #2 – Wedding Traditions
Marriage is a ceremony or union recognized by law that is shared by many cultures. The first example of a marriage ceremony was between Adam and Eve, back in the biblical era. The proof of this union can be found in the first testament where it is stated “At last, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”(Genesis Chapter 1)
It paved the path for the idea of two becoming one. It also was the setting that gave birth to the importance of marriage before sexual intercourse. After that most believed it to be a sin to engage in intercourse if you weren’t married. In earlier traditions, marriage was thought to be between a man and a woman, or some even recognize it as being between multiple men and women.
“Something new symbolizes prosperity and good fortune. A borrowed item reminds the bride that her family will be there to help her, and blue is the ancient color of loyalty and faithfulness.” (Wedding Traditions in the United States) Conventionally marriage in the US is based on love. It is not the norm to have prearranged marriages or have multiple spouses. It is however not uncommon to get divorced and then remarry.
The engagement process used, to begin with obtaining permission from the father of the bride to be. Now it has become more important to find acceptance in both families. Asking for the daughter’s hand in marriage has currently become an act of good manners. The proposal process usually involves an engagement ring in which the man suggests she accept the ring in exchange for her hand in marriage. If she says yes, they must decide on a date or a long engagement.
After a date is chosen, the planning process starts. Engagement can last from several months to several years. Details in the consideration of planning involve the invitations, food, cake, flowers, gifts, decor, a venue, and a photographer. In our community, it has become more popular for the ceremony to be what is considered “traditional”, rather than strictly religious. Traditional weddings usually are held in a venue other than a church and are not always lead by a minister. Weddings come in many different forms.
Example #3 – The American Way of Weddings
In our society, many youngsters are having sex before marriage. It has become such a regular occurrence that many people no longer deem it commonplace. Rather than promote abstinence many people spend their time promoting “safe sex.” It is a fact, that many youngsters have come to the conclusion that marriage is not for them.
They feel that it may only end up in divorce, so why even bother. But, when two people are in love and decide to get married it can be one of the most beautiful things in the world. Deciding to get married is a very serious decision. There are may aspects of life that one has to pay attention to when making such a decision. They are the emotional aspect, the mental aspect, and the financial aspect.
“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’till death do us part.” These are the vows that a man and a woman take to become married. But even before they take these vows they have to focus on all three of the aspects of life and marriage that are mentioned.
One of the most important is the financial aspect. The American way of a wedding can leave many young couples in debt before they even start a life together. The simplicity and magic of a wedding that once was, has now been turned into tiresome and lengthy planning and praying that everything turns outright. That magic that once belonged to the couple-to-be now belongs to the wedding industry.
On average Americans spend anywhere from $5,000 to $20,000 a wedding. No longer is it just the bride and groom, and a few of their family and friends. Now a wedding can consist of anywhere from 75 to 188 guests. The bride has a maid of honor, bridesmaids, and a flower girl. The groom has his best man, his ushers, and a ring bearer. And many more family and friends are invites; take into consideration that a caterer usually costs $75 per person.
The bride no longer wears her grandmother’s old dress, she now has to buy a dress which can cost up to $1,175. In the past, everyone would take pictures and you being the sweet couple would pick the best ones. Nowadays you need a professional photographer which can cost about $3,000 and a professional videographer which can cost about $850. An engagement ring can be about $2,760 or more, the bride and groom’s wedding rings can come up to about $1,110 or more ( all of these facts are according to Modern Bride magazine).
After mentioning all of these things there are still other so-called parts of an American wedding. They are the renting of the church and hall for the reception, the renting of the limo’s, and the honeymoon, which by itself is certainly not cheap. Many times couples don’t want to spend this much money, but they do. They feel that they must conform to the norm of American weddings. These days a wedding must be “perfect.” And in order to do so, it must be expensive.
The bride must look like a princess, so she tries to get the best which is usually more expensive. The groom tries to get his bride the most beautiful engagement ring. This means that the ring must be 24 karat gold and have a couple of carats in the diamonds. Usually, when the bride goes to buy her gown she wants something ” nice, beautiful, and simple.” But, when she arrives at the store the retailer persuades her to get something more extravagant; this means that it will be more expensive.
They may lead her to believe that someone who comes to her wedding may look better than her. This makes her want to go to any extent to look good, which she will anyway, even if it means that she has to spend what she doesn’t have. As for the groom, he goes to the jeweler to buy a beautiful, but the simple ring. Until the retailer tells him that the bride and her father will be expecting a much nicer ring. Or, maybe that the bride’s friends are going to “tease” her if she has a flimsy-looking engagement ring.
So he in turn does the same thing as his bride-to-be. There is still the issue of the cake. After being compelled to get a more expensive ring and dress they both know that the cake has to be just as extravagant. So, they may opt for a cake with many more layers. It may be shocking but this is just a small piece of the money pie that they’re going to have to give away.
Many different establishments have gained off of these so-called “modern weddings.” One of them is the magazine industry. There are many different magazines about weddings that can be bought at any newsstand. Magazines such as Elegant Bride, Weddings World, Bridal Guide, and one of the most popular is Modern Bride. There is even computer software, one, in particular, is called Bride’s Mate.
Another establishment that has prospered off of weddings is the television and move establishment. Many movies are brought out based on weddings. One of the most recent is called The Bachelor. Some others are Runaway Bride, Father of the Bride, and Four Weddings and a Funeral, all of which consist mainly of comedy. The American way of the wedding no longer brings only joy and happiness. It is also accompanied by a great deal of stress and financial distress. But, I guess as long as the joy and happiness are there then the wedding and the money were worth it.
Example #4 – An Unusual Wedding Ceremony
Ever been to an unusual wedding ceremony? Perhaps not, because very rarely have we been invited to a wedding ceremony that is other than a formal and a well-mannered event. Our familiarization with the wedding ceremony, however, is in sharp contrast with the traditional marriage ceremony of the Momma community, a minority group in eastern Pakistan from where I come. In this community, the marriage ceremony lasts for two days, with rituals that are not only unique but extremely amusing, interesting, and sometimes not very serious.
The first part of the ceremony, called “pithi”, is perhaps the most humorous of all. The bridegroom is lead by his mother from his room to a chair in the living room where family members, relatives, and friends of the bridegroom are gathered to take part in this ritual. Traditionally, the father of the bridegroom does not participate in this event, so the mother, being the next head of the family, initiates the pithi, placing a small block of sugar in the groom’s mouth, furiously rubbing his face with a facial scrub, and finally completing her run by taking uncooked rice from a plate under the groom’s chair and passionately releasing it above his head.
Then, the rest of the family members and relatives each go through the ritual one by one. The bridegroom’s friends add yet another dimension to the excitement of this ritual when it is their turn to participate. Instead of placing a block of sugar, the groom’s friend forces a similar-looking block of salt in the groom’s mouth. Instead of tossing the rice in the air, they joyfully smash dozens of raw eggs on the groom’s head. Some of the groom’s friends go to unpredictable lengths to excite the guests. For example, in a wedding ceremony that I attended last summer, the groom’s friends sprayed shaving cream on the groom’s face and tore off his T-shirt at the end of the ceremony.
Clearly then, pithi is a singularly amusing event for everyone except maybe for the bridegroom. The second main ritual in the wedding ceremony is known as “dehes”, and this event is very interesting because it brings rivalry between the groom’s and the bride’s friends as they meet for the first time at the groom’s house. As a part of this ritual, the bride’s friends, relatives, and family members all offer gifts to the bridegroom. After the gifts have been offered, the bride’s friends usually ask the bridegroom for something in return for their gifts.
Most often, to tease the bride’s friends, the bridegroom is not allowed by his friends to fulfill the wish of the bride’s friends, and so denies that he has anything for them. As a result, the bride’s friends become irritated with the bridegroom’s friends, and a noisy dispute between the two arises. In my cousin’s wedding ceremony, for example, the bride’s friends became annoyed when they did not get anything in return for their gifts.
One of the bride’s friends said loudly to the bridegroom and his friends, “you people are parsimonious, and our friend( the bride) will be unhappy living amongst you after marriage”. Even after the couples have been named husband and wife, there is no sense of seriousness between the friends of the bride and groom. When the bridegroom walks out of the wedding chapel, he finds that his shoes are missing from the place where he took them off before walking into the chapel.
As the groom nervously looks about him to locate his shoes, the bride and the couple’s family members and relatives laugh enthusiastically, for they know precisely why his shoes are taken away. The groom’s friends demand the friends of the bride to return the shoes, but the bride’s friends, being very stubborn and knowing that they did not get anything in return for their gifts in dehes, order the bridegroom to give them a large sum of money before they return his shoes. Without due consideration, the bridegroom hurriedly but smilingly gives the money, and the bride’s friends cheer, having won money from the groom.
The wedding ceremony in the Momna community is very unique because its rituals are amusing, interesting, and sometimes not very serious. This wedding ceremony is drastically different from the formal and well-mannered marriage ceremony that many of us have been to. Every ritual of the wedding ceremony in the Momna community abounds with excitement and joy. If an opportunity is offered to you to observe the wedding ceremony of the Momna community, do not take it lightheartedly, for you might miss the exhilaration, the jollity, and the vigor of this community’s unique tradition.
Example #5 – Indian weddings
ATTENTION-GETTER: I’m sure all of you have attended a wedding before whether it was a sibling, a parent, a best friend, or just an acquaintance. Marriage is one of the greatest days in a person’s life. Well, today I am going to open your eyes to a different type of marriage- the Indian marriage. Thesis: Indian marriages follow three major steps.
Preview: First, there is a hand-painting function the night before the marriage. Next, the actual wedding ceremony takes place. Finally, there is a reception to conclude the marriage. Sources: Some of my information comes from a book by Carolyn Mordecai named Weddings, Dating, & Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide. First of all, a hand-painting ceremony called the Mahendi function takes place.
The bride’s family lavishly puts together a fun gathering for the bride, her friends, and sisters. The main idea of the function is to put henna on the girls’ hands so they can look decorated for the wedding. Henna is a herbal dye that is put on the body. It dyes the skin and the color remains for up to three weeks. Music, laughter, and dancing fill this evening while all the women and girls enjoy the night without the men.
As the night winds down, the girls become sad realizing that this is their last night of such a carefree single life. They are in fact losing one of their girls to a man. This function is like a bachelorette party at an American wedding. The women open presents, play games, and sometimes even have a stripper. There is a lot of excitement surrounding this atmosphere. Transition: Even though the bride enjoyed the last moments of unmarried life with all of her friends, she embraces the following day’s rite of passage.
Example #6 – Wedding in the UAE
A wedding is one of the most significant events in the life of every young girl. Every country has its own wedding traditions which include definite customs and principles of the right preparation for the wedding. Young women in the UAE also consider wedding as the most important and pleasant event in their lives. The preparation for the wedding in the UAE is a long process, and the wedding ceremony is a great beautiful act that consists of several stages.
The first stage is the bride’s preparation for her wedding. It is interesting that it usually begins when the wedding date is set, and it can last for forty days. Thus, the bride’s preparations require a lot of time and energy. However, it is the happiest period in a woman’s life. It is forbidden to see the bride during these forty days. Only the family members can see her and help to prepare for her wedding day.
Traditionally, it is paid much attention to her look. Different sorts of special oils and perfumes are used to cover her body from head to toe. It is also significant to decorate the bride’s skin with various henna patterns. Moreover, her hair should be washed with traditional extracts of amber and jasmine in order to make it beautiful.
The members of the bride’s family also concentrate on the quality of the dishes which she eats because it is important to keep her purity and even perfectness. The groom’s presents as pieces of jewelry and silk materials also contribute to such intentions. These presents will be used for her trousseau which is traditionally known as Alzehba.
The next stage of the wedding is the celebrations which can be held for one week or more before the wedding night. Nevertheless, modern pairs are inclined to celebrate their weddings in less than one week. They listen to traditional music, sing traditional wedding songs, and dance in order to celebrate the happiest moment in their lives. Moreover, these festivities are followed by the henna night of Laylat Al Henna during which the bride’s sisters, girlfriends, and female guests prepare her for her first wedding night and decorate her hands and feet with henna which leaves dark red stains on her skin.
Furthermore, it is impossible to imagine the bride in UAE who does not use the Arabian Kohl or eyeliners. The usage of black eyeliners is also can be considered as a definite tradition that is popular for many years. This substance is usually taken from a black stone known as Al Ahmad and is used to accentuate the beauty of women’s eyes. The henna night is the last period before the bride’s wedding night.
It is also important that men and women who are the guests at the wedding usually celebrate separately according to Muslim traditions. In spite of the fact all the wedding traditions depend on general Islamic religious principles, the approaches to the ceremony can be different in various Muslim countries. For instance, weddings in Egypt can differ from weddings in Africa or India because of the following definite customs. We can conclude that weddings can be considered as one of the most important events in women’s lives in the UAE. It is necessary to remember that all the peculiarities of the wedding in UAE depend on strict following definite Islamic traditions and customs.
Example #7 – Cultural Weddings And Wedding Ceremony
A wedding is the marriage rite in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift, and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or leader. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is followed by a wedding reception.
Music, poetry, prayers, or readings from Scripture or literature also may be incorporated into the ceremony (Wedding, 2012). Weddings, like any other major life event, can bring out the best and worst in all of us: generosity, creativity, humor, as well as jealousy, control, and even boredom. Weddings are a huge lavish thing in all cultures. They are bringing not only two people together, but families from both sides together. This can be stressful and at times just not worth it for the bride or the groom.
Psychology has taught me to look deeper into the differences in different cultures and their weddings. They can be so similar, but so different at the same time and there is a reason for most of the differences when it comes to different cultures and their place in the world (Besnette, 2000). Wedding traditions around the world vary according to nationality, country, and religion. One of the different cultures I studied was the Indian culture in India.
Though traditions may be similar, the meaning and practice behind them vary greatly. India’s Weddings are coupled with many traditions and beliefs. They perform many ceremonies leading up to the actual wedding ceremony itself. For a long time, it has been a custom for India to arrange their children’s marriages. The parents would normally choose their child’s husband or wife to be. Unlike Americans, who base their marriage life on how they feel; Indians base it on the class status of their families. Freedom in America is lavishly enjoyed, as long as it doesn’t trespass on other’s rights. In India, the government is given more authority to restrict the independence of the people, since their decision is more attached to their constitution.
Though in America we marry out of love, the first act before a couple unites in India is the arranging of marriage by their parents. The belief in India is that parents are to look out for their daughter’s best interests. The parents choose a groom for their daughter, who will look out for her best interests just like her parents. In India, it is customary for the parents to unite the couple. Upon approval from the potential bride and groom then they begin to prepare for the ceremonies. The couple then has a Mangni, the engagement ceremony; the priest officiates over this service.
It is traditional for the groom’s family to arrive at the bride’s home with gifts for their daughter-in-law (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012). The couple has to send out a posting of banns. This is an announcement of the intended matrimony between the bride and groom. The banns are published three weeks prior to the ceremony to give the community a chance to object if there are any restrictions. During the wedding ceremony, the priest also gives those gathered for the service a chance to object (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012). Two days before the ceremony the bride is given an Upton celebration.
This is the beautification of the bride tradition. They mix powdered sandalwood and dried herb into a paste with jasmine oil. The paste is applied to the bride’s face, arms, legs, and feet. The process can take up to eight hours to apply and even more, time to dry. The art is detailed in actual drawings upon the body in the form of a skilled craft of artwork. While the paste dries they begin the Mehndi ceremony. The ladies sing to the rhythm of a small drum, traditional wedding songs during the ceremony. The bride may not leave the house until her wedding day.
She is also forbidden to meet with the groom again until the wedding day (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012). Then it is time for the Shagan or the custom of blessing the couple with gifts. Shagan is the practice of welcoming the bride into the groom’s family. Blessing the bride with gifts is a way of showing acceptance of her into the family. The groom’s family brings gifts in the form of clothes, jewelry, and bangles for the bride. The bride’s family in return presents the groom with gifts of clothes and jewelry. The bride’s family distributes gifts as a gesture of thanks.
They show their appreciation, to the groom and his family for taking in their daughter. Then they begin the celebration of the couple with music. Family and friends sing to the beat of the small drum. The Shagan ceremony is usually hosted in two separate ceremonies one, by the bride’s family and the other by the groom’s. Once the Shagan ceremony is wrapped up, the families begin to prepare for the wedding ceremony. The wedding is given at a traditional Christian Church in India (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012). A lot of things are similar like getting married in a church is traditional in America too, but not always the norm.
Americans get married everywhere. Whether it’s outside in a vineyard or it’s on the pitcher’s mound of a baseball stadium. I think Americans do what they feel would make their wedding the most amazing and not go by all the traditions of religion or culture to make them happy. The wedding is performed during the week, late afternoon. Most wedding ceremonies in India are performed during the week. Wednesday is the traditional day for weddings; it is considered the most auspicious. Weddings are never conducted on the weekends. Sundays are considered the Lord’s day; Saturdays are days of rest (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012).
This different from in American, where we mostly get married on Saturday or Sunday because it is the weekend and is a better day during the week to attend a wedding celebration. The ushers are present to assist the guests on which side of the church to sit. When the ceremony is ready the groom takes the traditional place at the altar nest to the Best Man. It is customary for the mother’s brother to receive the bride at the entrance of the church. The uncle then hands the bride over to her father. The father is to lead the bride into the church, preceded by three priests, the flower girls, and then of course the bridesmaids.
They still play the traditional song ‘Here Comes the Bride’ while the attendees stand until the bride is handed over at alter to the groom (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012). I don’t like that there were so many priests involved in the Indian wedding. I mean really how many priests does it take to many one couples? I know that was petty of me to say anything, but I found it unnecessary to have three of them there to assist in the wedding. I didn’t know that they also played ‘Here Comes the Bride’ at an Indian wedding. It seems strange and out of place for an Indian wedding, but that’s just my opinion.
The couple kneels at the altar while family and friends recite meaningful poetry to them. Once this has concluded the priest begins the service. It is then customary for the Best Man to pass the wedding rings to the priest for his blessings. The couple then exchange vows in the language that they choose. Public displays of affection, such as kissing, are not performed in India After the exchange of vows the couple proceeds to the vestry, along with the priest and their parents to sign the church register. Then it is time for the reception which is usually hosted by the bride’s family (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012).
I thought that a kiss would be customary for the event, but in India, it is frowned upon. I love that America doesn’t have a petty rule like that. I think the kiss signifies the couple’s union to every that is in attendance. I actually cry at weddings when the couple finally kisses for the first time as one. The ceremonies are concluded with the Vidai or bridal send-off. This is when the groom and his family take the wife to their home. The bride is to leave home and retreat to whatever city or country the groom chooses. Before they leave, they go to the bride’s home where the couple has prayers offered and receives blessings.
The bride then departs with her lingerie, wedding gifts in a decorated car (Indian Wedding Rituals, 2012). I’m not a fan of the groom choosing where his bride should live. I find that so old world and they need to get up on the times and be equal in the decision. Just like I’m not for arranged marriages at all. I think that is the dark ages shining through after thousands of years and it is barbaric and just unnecessary. The second culture I studied was the Japanese culture. A Japanese wedding ceremony is an elaborate ritual interwoven with Japanese culture & tradition.
It is usually small & private. In Japan, the Shinto ceremony is the standard. Some Japanese-American couples choose to combine East and West. Christian, Buddhist, or Shinto style are all wonderful options. Today in Japan, many couples have to decide between having a traditional Japanese wedding or a more modern Western wedding. Both weddings are rich in culture and still have a distinct flair of Japanese tradition instilled in them (Wedding Culture, 2012). The traditional Japanese wedding takes place in a Shinto shrine, due to the fact that Japan’s largest religion is Shinto.
These traditional wedding ceremonies are small and usually private, with only family and close friends present. In these traditional wedding ceremonies, the bride wears a white wedding kimono dress called shiro-maku, meaning white and pure. Her hair is styled in a style called bunking-Takashimaya and decorated with decorations called kanzashi ornaments. She also wears a white wedding hood called a tsuno kakushi. At some weddings, she is painted white from head to foot to signify her purity. The grooms in these traditional wedding traditions wear a montsuki kimono.
He also wears a short overcoat called a haori, which is decorated in the family crest, and pleated pants called hakama (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012). In American, the bride wears a customary white wedding gown and the men wear a black suit or tuxedo. This is traditional to show that the bride is pure just like the Japanese culture. Though, in American, it isn’t always a white gown that the women wear. It is a chose and a lot of women chose the white traditional gown to walk down the aisle in. The traditional wedding ceremony is performed by a Shinto priest.
The families of the couple face each other during this ceremony, unlike in Western weddings where the couples face each other. The Shinto priest begins by purifying the couple and then performs the vows. This is called by the tradition called san kudo, in which the couples drink nine cups of sake, symbolizing the union of the couple. Families and guests also drink sake to represent the bonding or coming together of the two families. Then the ceremony closes with the symbolic offerings of small tree twigs called Sakaki to the Kami. During this ceremony, the music is performed by flutes by musicians called gag a Ku.
After the ceremony, the father of each family introduces their family member (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012). It is customary in America for the father to give the bride away and not to introduce their family member. I find that strange to introduce after the ceremony is complete. I find it strange too, that they all drink so much sake during the ceremony to symbolize the union of the couple. I don’t know why this bothered me, but it did. After the traditional wedding ceremony is performed, the wedding party and the guests engage in celebration.
They perform skits, karaoke, and offer the couple money called goshugi in a festive envelope with the guest’s name on the outside according to the traditional way. Traditional Japanese food is served at these receptions. In most cases, the bride changes clothing twice: first into a red kimono and again into a western-style gown. This changing of her clothing signifies the bride’s readiness to return to daily life. Female guests usually wear traditional kimono and men wear Western-style suits (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012).
In American weddings, the bride sometimes changes into a different dress for the reception because it is easier to move around and dance with her guests in a smaller or shorter dress than in the traditional gown that she wore during the ceremony. The men do this sometimes too to be more comfortable. It doesn’t symbolize anything other than to be comfortable. Western-style weddings also take place in Japan. More couples are engaging in this type of wedding, mostly because of the high cost of the traditional Shinto wedding.
Although these weddings are adopted from the Western world, they still contain traditional Japanese wedding traditions. Western-style weddings in Japan take place in reception halls. Most reception halls in Japan have miniature Japanese Shinto shrines inside, so the couples can still honor their religious beliefs and vow their marriage to the Japanese God called Kami (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012). This is becoming more popular in the United States too, to have the wedding and reception in the same place to cut costs and to be more convenient.
When I was planning my wedding; I planned to have the reception and wedding in the same building to cut the expense for me and my family and to make it easier for everyone to be in one place and not have to travel to a second location to have a reception. The bride wears a traditional Western-style wedding dress. Many brides rent their gowns at wedding boutiques to cut costs. The men wear traditional Western-style tuxedos. The Western ceremony is the same as in traditional Japanese weddings, except for the location and clothing (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012).
I never thought of just renting a wedding gown for a wedding, but now that I have read about that concept, I believe that is a great way to go. I mean you can get what you want without spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a dress you will wear once. It seems like a waste of money to me. After the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom are introduced as husband and wife at the reception. The reception food in these Western-style weddings differs from those of traditional Japanese weddings in that the food can be French, Chinese, or Japanese food instead of just traditional Japanese food.
The wedding also includes the Western traditions of the cutting of the cake, dances, speeches, bouquet tossing, exchanging rings, and honeymoons. Typically, no skits are performed, unlike traditional Japanese weddings. The bride will also perform the changing of the clothes seen in the traditional Japanese wedding. However, instead of a red kimono and then a Western-style gown, she will change into a wedding kimono and then to a party dress (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012). I love that they have a choice on what wedding they want to have, whether it be the traditional one or the symbolic one.
I also enjoyed the fact that the Western-style wedding is a lot like that in America. It is exactly like an American Wedding in all the stops are pulled out with the rings, bouquet tossing, and cake. Although the Western-style Japanese wedding still retains Japanese culture in some way, if couples want to truly marry their cultural traditions, then the traditional Japanese wedding is the best way to do so. However, for many couples, this is a problem because of the high costs of a traditional wedding, which includes the expensive renting of the Shinto temple, the kimono, and decorations.
So more couples today are choosing the Western-style wedding over the traditional wedding as a way to save costs. There is also a trend developing in which the number of couples marrying abroad is increasing. This is making the old and traditional way of getting married in Japan to become obsolete and that may hurt the Japanese culture (A Primer on Japanese Wedding Traditions, 2012). Weddings come in all shapes and sizes so to speak. They can be traditional or not. They can be heterosexual or homosexual in some parts of the world.
They can be arranged or not. They can involve feelings of love or they don’t. All cultures have different ways of coming together as a family or bringing two families together in a ceremony to keep the people of the world coming in all aspects of human nature. They bring tears to the eye or they make you so happy you can’t stand yourself. Weddings are beautiful no matter what culture you are observing and I can tell you from experience that they impact your thoughts on the world and love and family.
Example #8 – Should Hindu Father Pay for Daughter’s Wedding the Real History One Man
Observing that a Hindu father has a legal and personal obligation to pay for his daughter’s marriage, the Kerala High Court said that he cannot discriminate between a lawful and unlawful child. The high court was hearing a petition filed by a woman against an order passed by a Family Court. Initially filed before Palakkad Family Court, the petitioner had asked the court to direct the respondent who she claimed is her father to meet her marriage expenses.
However, the respondent said that he was not married to the petitioner’s mother and thus not liable to pay for her marriage. The family court ultimately dismissed her petition stating that she is earning Rs 12,000 as rent from her two properties. In her fresh plea before the Kerala High Court, the petitioner argued that the family court was wrong in concluding that she is not entitled to claim marriage expenses from the respondent.
Quoting Section 20(1) of the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, the court said that a Hindu man is bound to maintain legitimate and illegitimate children during her or his lifetime. “It was noted that the respondent’s denial of having a marital relationship with the petitioner’s mother was immaterial, given that Section 20 talks of an obligation to maintain his daughter, whether legitimate or illegitimate. The respondent was found to be the father of the petitioner by his own eventual admission as well as a DNA test,” the court ruled.
Section 20(3) of the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956 also said that it is the obligation of a person to maintain his or her aged or infirm parent or a daughter who is unmarried extends in so far as the parent or the unmarried daughter, as the case may be, is unable to maintain himself or herself out of his or her own earnings or other property.
Stating that Rs 12,000 as rent is not sufficient, the court concluded, “A person does not live by bread alone. There are other basic necessities in life. One can just imagine what amount the petitioner or her mother could have saved after meeting the day to day expenses. The respondent has got no case that the petitioner or her mother is employed or that they have got any other source of income. In these circumstances, we have no hesitation to find that the order of the lower court rejecting the claim of the petitioner in toto is erroneous”.
Example #9 – The Concept is the Basis of Your Wedding
Fashionable wedding stylists on the pages of international wedding editions unanimously reiterate that at the heart of every modern wedding the concept should lie. It seems that a wedding without a thoughtful concept like a dinner without dessert or a summer vacation without the sea, you can get along, but all the time it seems that something is missing. Today we will talk about what is so important in the wedding concept and why you need it so much.
Basics. The concept is designed as a good script in a film or a libretto in an opera to combine everything that happens in one story. She gathers together all the details, starting from the images of the bride and groom, finishing with wedding printing, floristry, and even the kind of wedding cake. If you follow beautiful wedding stories, real weddings, and stylized shots that appear in specialized blogs, then most likely you have noticed how each photo and every detail in such series tells its part of the story, while ideally integrating into a common outline, like pieces of a puzzle in one beautiful picture.
Theme, style, concept. All these concepts at first glance tell us about the same thing. However, this is not quite true. The theme of the wedding, like its general style, can be chosen from the list of fashionable at the moment options. For example, a couple of years ago the super-fashionable theme for weddings and celebrations was the era of the “golden” of the 1920s, the Great Gatsby, and the artistic style of Art Deco. In this and the upcoming season, the eco-weddings are held the palm tree, the proximity to nature, and natural color palettes are in vogue.
Therefore, choosing the theme or style of the wedding, you can focus on external resources. With the concept, the situation is reversed. Search for the concept is necessary, starting with yourself, i.e. based on your love story, your personal experience, your preferences, and tastes. Only in this way, your wedding concept will find flesh and your wedding will become truly personalized,
Personal style. In fact, what needs to be done before starting any decorating or design preparation for a wedding is to try to put together a potentially attractive and suitable wedding style with your personal history, details, palettes that mean something for you. This thought process actually only looks laborious, in fact, it is very logical and full of meanings, both objective and generally valid, so subjective and of special importance only for you.
Thinking about your concept, build on your vision, but do not lose your head, taking into account the background factors. Make a beach wedding in a city restaurant will be problematic, but add to the wedding design stylish elements that remind you how much you are attached to the sea, much easier. And if you hang fishing nets all over the solemn hall, then your wedding will be thematic, and if you pick up special “personal” details, for example, silk ribbons of marine shades, a small anchor on the groom’s boutonniere, and seating cards with illustrations of marine inhabitants, your wedding will be personalized. So do not pursue trends blindly, but create your story, look back on them and choose what you like and really fit.
Time checking. If you have any doubts about how well the concept you have assembled is good and stylish in the universal sense of the word, subject it to a test of time. Fashion changes, but the notion of good taste remains unchanged. Think about when you will be viewing wedding photos in 10 years, whether you will remember the connection between all the details, and whether you will continue to consider your wedding as the most beautiful love story that can rightly be proud of.
Maybe you will find that it’s pointless to decide such questions now when preparing your wedding, but it’s definitely worth it. You not only look at the concept of the wedding from the side, which, perhaps, will push you to make some important changes to the original plan, but still give you a sense of “timelessness” of your wedding. Your story, in the end, will not be tied to a specific decade, specific trends, and fashion, it just will be beautiful. Equally beautiful for both yourself and your future children and even grandchildren.
Example #10 – Indian and American Weddings
My stepfather is from Guyana, where their culture comes from India, so I know a little bit about Indian culture. Guyana is located in South America. It is one of the few Caribbean countries that is not an island. Last June, I went to New York for the first time to assist with an Indian wedding. There are so many amazing differences between American and Indian weddings: the preparation, the ceremony, and the food.
In Indian weddings, the Indians prepare the bride one year after the couple decides to marry. Depending on what part of the country they come from, Indians send the bride to a fat camp to get fat; for them, that represents healthiness. The ceremony starts at the house of the bride where the groom is required to ask the bride’s father for her hand and offers some gifts.
If the bride’s father accepts the gifts, they continue to go to a special altar and finish with a party at the groom’s house. They can serve just native food, for example, spicy spinach, red beans, and roti. The food tastes so good, but it is surprising how Indians aren’t allowed to give the guests other kinds of food.
American weddings are pretty simple in contrast to Indian weddings. For example, they don’t prepare the bride one year before; instead, they prepare the ceremony at least one year or less. Also, the ceremony starts and finishes at the church, and after they offer a reception with food. The food at American weddings is from around the world; for example, Italian, Japanese, Mexican, and Caribbean are the most common dishes served.
In conclusion, one of the things every human society has in common is marriage; however, the way that they celebrate weddings can be different, even in the simplest things like the preparation, the ceremony, and the food. In the end, they want to achieve the same goal: to unify two families and celebrate the love of the couple.
Example #11 – interesting ideas
Can you help me with my college essay? Weddings?
The question is, “How does a wedding differ from real life than what is represented on television?” This was not related to a story, the prof. just gives us random questions and expects 5 pages of nonsense. Any ideas? An idea for an intro or thesis would be cool too. Serious answers only. Update: I’ve never been to one so I’m pretty stumped.
I think the main problem with the way television represents a wedding is the need to have it huge, with too many people. where it seems like everyone who ever walked through your parent’s house even once is there, plus relatives you have not seen since you were 2 years old, all the neighbors, every friend either person ever had, etc.
I believe real life should be more simplistic, no more than 100-120 people you can you can both pick 60 people you know and love, but remember 20 people each is even better. small intimate and cost-efficient. No need for a wedding planner, all you need is the church, flowers, bridal party, flowers, function room, food, and a cash bar and DJ.
No need for super stressing, start planning early, and delegate easy choices out to others. For example, my husband and I got married in the month of August we had 60 people we each had 3 attendants plus ring barrer and flower girl. had a unity candle, sacraments, and a beautiful service, follow by dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant ( which is owned by a friend of the family) bottle of wine red and white on the table appetizer table.
And 3 meal choices chicken parm, baked fish or eggplant parm for vegetarians, beautiful cake, great DJ. cash bar. Everyone who came was people we were really friends with and family. So it was not the typical stressed-out boring wedding where everyone is trying to keep up with the jones so to speak with the biggest better more expensive. We paid for it ourselves and did not go into debt. And made out well with showers and wedding gifts. My parents were actually mad that we planned it and we paid for it ourselves. But we wanted to do it ourselves so we had control over the size and people who came. Did not want a typical big Italian wedding.
How Interior Design Creates Signature Weddings?
Hi Everybody, I am a student. Recently I have been thinking of writing an essay about how Interior Design creates signature weddings. I wonder if any of you have any thoughts or ideas that you would like to share or you think that would be interesting to consider for the title.
Answer. Like interior design, most people plan weddings upon a certain ‘theme’ or color palette. A bride has a vision of her ideal wedding day, and in the vision, the environment and surroundings are one of the most important parts. There are many interior designers who are called in by wedding planners to create the bride’s dream environment. Remember: Interior design = wedding inspiration! The correlation between the two is definite and easy to see. The bride wants beautiful surroundings on her big day.
Want opinions on weddings? I’m doing a research essay on weddings and was wondering if anybody would give their input on a few questions. If you are planning a wedding or just got married in the last few months I’d really like your input. Or if you happened to have gotten in the ’70s or ’80s. thank you very much. Do you believe the bigger the better? If you don’t mind sharing, What was your budget, and did you stay within it? If your budget was large, why did you feel that was ok. If your budget was small why did you feel that was ok. Would you or did you hire a wedding planner? Did the cost of your wedding leave you in debt as you started your new life together? Thank you for all comments, im just trying to get ideas on which way to take this essay.
- No, I don’t believe the bigger the better, but to each her own.
- Our budget was 12k, and we stuck to it.
- & 4. I think our budget was perfect. We did have to make different arrangements, such as getting married outside of the city, to keep costs down, but in the end, it was almost perfect.
- 5. No, I didn’t hire a wedding planner. I had enough time to plan out our wedding as our engagement was 17 mos. long
- No, it didn’t leave us in debt. 15 mos. before our wedding date, we opened up a savings account specifically for our wedding fund. We decided on a set amount of money to take out of both of our paychecks and we stuck to it. By the time our wedding rolled around, our wedding and honeymoon were completely paid for, with plenty of leftovers.