Emotional Intelligence Essay

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Example #1

DEFINE

E.Q, which stands for emotional quotient, is a fairly new concept in the scientific community yet it has become one of the most controversial topics. For thousands of years, people have thought that I.Q is destiny, but it has turned out to be not nearly as much as we thought. Daniel Goleman, a psychology professor at the University of Harvard wrote a groundbreaking book about the E.Q factor.

His book argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow. Ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how well we do in life. To be “emotionally intelligent” relies on many factors, which include knowing one?s feelings and using them to make life decisions they can live with. Being able to manage one?s emotional life without being hijacked by it — not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by anger.

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Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling one?s impulses in order to pursue their goals. Empathy — reading other people’s emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling. Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony — being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group, for example. The phrase “emotional intelligence” was coined by Yale psychologist Peter Salovey and the University of New Hampshire’s John Mayer eight years ago to describe the emotional qualities one had.

EFFECTS ONE’S LIFE?

EQ is one of the deciding factors on the outcome of someone?s life. Being emotional “controlled” can change one?s life. It can affect the way you deal with failure, either accept it or try to persevere in your original goal. For example, someone goes to a job interview but is turned down. An emotionally intelligent person would think? It’s not the end of the world, there are plenty of jobs out there.?

Whereas an emotionally “unstable” person would think? Oh no, I’m never going to get a job, then I won’t be able to pay my rent and I’ll get kicked out into the streets after which I will turn to a life of crime which will come to an abrupt end when I’m shot in the head by a cop while trying to steal some food? I’m DOOMED!? It might be hard to believe but there are plenty of people out there with that kind of attitude towards rejection. This brings us back to the point that if someone can handle an emotional situation they will go through life more relaxed and comfortable.

PART PERSONALITY EXPERIENCES IN LIFE ATTITUDES

Most emotionally intelligent people are outgoing, talkative, fun, and just a joy to be around. Whereas a person with lesser EQ is just the opposite? There is no question that emotionally intelligent people are more liked. Does no one want to hang out with a “boring” person, they want to laugh, to be entertained to be around people with a higher EQ. A person’s attitude towards life?s obstacles are practically a surefire way of identifying whether or not that is a person of a high EQ. Optimists are usually the one’s with a high EQ, whereas pessimists are usually lower on the EQ chart.

THE MARSHMALLOW TEST

It turns out that a scientist can see the future by watching four-year-olds interact with a marshmallow. The researcher invites the children into a room where he begins the torment. He places a single marshmallow on a table, you can have the marshmallow right now, he says. But if you wait while I run an errand you can have two. And then he leaves.

Some children grab for the marshmallow the minute he leaves. Some last a few minutes before they give in. But others are determined to wait. Some sing to themselves; they try to play games or even fall asleep. When the researcher returns he gives them their hard-earned marshmallow. And the science waits for them to grow up.

By the time the children reached high school, something remarkable has happened. A survey of the children’s parents and teachers found that those who as four-year-olds waited for the second marshmallow turned out to be better adjusted more popular, more dependable teenagers. The children who gave in to the temptation early on were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated, and stubborn. And when the students were given a Scholastic Aptitude Test, the kids who had held out longer scored an average of 210 points higher.

OPTIMISM AND EQ

Most people with a high EQ are optimists, you almost never see a pessimist with a high EQ. It somewhat of an oxymoron for someone to be emotionally intelligent and pessimistic. Optimism plays a huge role in the life of an emotionally intelligent person.

Optimists see things differently than pessimists. An optimist would see an obstacle as a challenge, whereas a pessimist would see it as a pain in the ass and a waste of time. Being an optimist makes things easier for the person and the people around them, it eases things in rough situations. An optimist can control his/her emotions in a way that would benefit them.

If a person with a high EQ fails a test thinks  “it’s not the end of the world, all I have to do is study harder next time.” This kind of attitude eases things on the person, instead of feeling bad all day for failing they would feel good in knowing that next time they are faced with a similar situation they will do better. Pessimism has no place in the life of an emotionally intelligent person. Optimism is more than just positive thinking, it is a habit of positive thinking. Optimistic children are a joy to be around.

Their zest and zeal are contagious. According to psychologist Martin Seligman, who writes in more than a thousand studies, involving over half a million children and adults? optimistic people were less frequently depressed, more successful in school and on the job, and, surprisingly, even physically healthier than pessimistic people. Perhaps more importantly, a child that is not born with an optimistic disposition can learn to be an optimist. Fortunately, optimism is an EQ skill that can be learned.

SELF ESTEEM AND EQ

Self-esteem, like optimism, is essential in order to maintain a healthy emotional life. People who have confidence in themselves, their ideas and views, and what they are all about to tend to be more emotionally stable than people who lack self-confidence. Being self-confident gives people the impression that you are reliable and trustworthy.

Studies have shown that children who lack self-esteem are more likely to have emotional problems such as depression, violent fits, and suicidal tendencies. When raising a child it is essential that the parent tries to show as much love as possible, talk to the children about their day, include them in conversations with other adults, anything that would give the child confidence in him/herself.

People who have high self-esteem are less likely to be affected by any negative comments, they know that it’s what they think of themselves that counts. Media has had a great impact on what people show acceptance as normal and because of that, it has become harder for people to have high self-esteem about themselves especially their physical appearance.

When EQ comes into play media is futile, emotionally intelligent, and secure individuals have enough self-esteem to “crush” anything negative that might be directed their way. Teaching a child to have self-esteem is very important. Children’s expectations about their abilities begin at home. If parents show confidence in the children?s actions and judgments the children are more likely to set a higher standard for themselves, in their social and their personal life.

Developing a child?s self-esteem through constant praise and reinforcement, as advocated for many years, may actually do more harm than good. Helping a child feel good about themselves only has meaning if those feelings are attached to specific accomplishments and the mastering of new skills.

ABOUT DONNA LYPCHUCK

An air force employee, Donna Lypchuk was born in Tisdale, Sask. After being transported around this great land to Trenton, Winnipeg, and Ottawa, her parents finally took up residence on the other side of the 401 in Brockville, Ont.

After studying theatre and film at York University, Lypchuck eked out a meager living in Toronto, forming her own theatre company, The Last Battalion, writing art criticism for various international art magazines, curating art into nightclubs, and making Super-8 art films that looked like somebody’s home movies.

After living for five years upstairs at the Cameron Hotel, Lypchuk decided to write a four-act musical play about Queen St. called Tragedy of Manners that opened the season at Theatre Passe Muraille in 1988 with a cast of 43. Despite the fact that it outraged local critics, it ran for eight weeks. A collection of short fiction by new Canadian writers edited by her the following year, New City Fiction, provoked a similarly indignant reaction from the local press.

Bored with being a short story writer and contributing editor of Impulse Magazine, Lypchuk then discovered the wonderful world of “screenplay development” that culminated in her acceptance to the Canadian Centre for Advanced Film Studies. She was hired by an eye in 1991 to write the necrophile, an experiment in journalism. The Necrofiles, a collection of her columns in the eye was published in 1995 by eye Press, an imprint of eye, and Gutter Press. In the meantime, she has written five well paid for yet unproduced screenplays.

DANIEL GOLEMAN, Ph.D.

Daniel Goleman is a Harvard psychologist. In 1995 Daniel Goleman wrote a best seller (emotional intelligence) that would propel the concept of EQ into public awareness.

It made the cover of Time magazine and became a conversation from classrooms to boardrooms. The implications and significance of EQ even reached the White House.  “I’ll tell you what?s a great book,” President Clinton told reporters at the Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver, Colorado, on an unscheduled campaign stop, ?this Emotional Intelligence. It’s a very interesting book. I love it. Hilary gave it to me.?

Since the release of his book, Goleman has appeared on countless T.V shows and magazine interviews. He is one of the pioneers that brought emotional intelligence to the forefront.

EQ & STRESS MANAGEMENT

Somebody with high EQ can laugh stress off. Humor is an excellent weapon when it comes to dealing with stress. Being humorous about your problems can make things easier. Having a high EQ makes dealing with stress easier. Being an optimist can ease the load. Do you don’t let things get to you as much, you don’t forget about your problems, but you don’t allow them to take an emotional toll on you.

This is where the optimism comes into play again. Being an optimist you can always deal with stress better. You can understand that it’s not the end of the world, you not going to die, it’s just a measly bill.

EQ & ANGER MANAGEMENT

People who have a high EQ can handle anger much better than those who don’t. An emotionally intelligent will be able to seize to challenge the thoughts that trigger the surges of anger. Timing matters; the earlier in the anger cycle the more effective. Emotionally intelligent people have a better grip on their emotions. They are more capable of managing their emotions.

By identifying how they feel, why they feel this way, they can control the way they react in a given situation. Several experimental programs have had some success in helping aggressive children. One such program, at Duke University, worked with aggressive grade-schoolers. For forty minutes, twice a week, and for six to twelve weeks. The boys were taught that some of the social cues they that were hostile were actually friendly. They learned to take the perspective of other children, to get a sense of how they were being seen.

They got indirect training in anger management controls the enacting scenes, such as being teased, which might lead them to lose their temper. One of the key skills of anger control was monitoring their feelings? becoming aware of their body?s sensations, such as muscle tensing. After the program was over fights in the school dramatically decreased. Anger management is a very important part of having a high EQ, being able to reason rather acting on impulse.

EQ & CREATIVITY

Having a high EQ gives a person more courage to try new things and go to new places. Most people with high EQ are very creative people, they are not afraid of sharing their ideas or their thoughts. Although people with high EQ don’t usually have the highest grades they are more than likely more creative than the other children. Creativity can be developed at a young age.

Parents should talk a lot to their kids, take them for walks, go to the beach, anything that can conjure up the least bit of curiosity. A person once said, ?curiosity is the mother of invention.? If parents can get their kids to be curious at a young age the kids are more likely to grow up more creative.

INDIVIDUALS THAT PROFILE A GREAT EQ

It is not difficult to spot a person with a high EQ. They are usually very talkative, optimistic, funny, and outgoing. Most (if not every) comedians have a high EQ. Jim Carrey for instance has a high EQ. You can tell by watching him. He is always making people laugh, always making faces you almost never see him in a serious mood(not that being in a serious mood is a bad thing).

People with high EQ usually come from a family with high EQ. Nobody wants to be around people with low EQ because it brings them down, the most popular students are usually the ones that profile a high EQ. Being emotionally intelligent is great for a person’s personal and social life.

EQ & SUCCESS

The excitement over the concept of emotional intelligence begins with its applications for raising and educating children, but extends to its importance in the world place and virtually all human relationships. Studies show that the same EQ skills that result in your child being perceived as an enthusiastic learner by his teacher or being liked by his friends on the playground, will also help him twenty years from now in his job or in his marriage.

In many studies, adults do not appear to be that different from the children they once were, and the social working of the job is like the playground from childhood. The extent to which EQ skills can affect the workplace is still surprising. A study was done at Bell Labs to find out why scientists were performing poorly at their jobs in spite of intellectual and academic intelligence equal to their high-achieving colleagues.

The researchers studied the E-mail patterns of all the scientists and found that the employees who were disliked because of poor emotional and social skills were being left out by their colleagues, much the way the nerd way left out of games on the playground. EQ is as important as book-smarts when it comes to success.

EQ & MARRIAGE

What protects a marriage? On the basis of watching interaction in the couples whose marriages have continued to thrive over the years, researchers offer specific advice for men and for women, and some general words for both.

Men and women have different emotional needs. For men, the advice is not to side-step conflict, but to realize that when their wife brings up some grievance or disagreements, she may be doing it as an act of love, trying to keep the relationship healthy and on course.

When grievances simmer they build and build in intensity until there is an explosion; when they are aired and worked out it takes the pressure off. But husbands need to realize that anger or discontent is not the same as a personal attack. Their wives? emotions are often simply under-liners, describing the degree of her feelings about the matter.

Men also need to be on guard against short-circuiting the discussion by offering a practical solution too early on. It’s more important to a wife that she feels her husband hears her complain and understands her feelings about the matter. When a person is emotionally “stable” it is easier for them to understand their partner’s feelings.

They are able to emphasize with them. An “emotionally intelligent” relationship is the healthiest kind of relationship one can have. Being able to understand each other feelings makes the relationship “stress-free” and easier to live with.

BORN WITH EQ OR LEARNED?

EQ is something a person learns. People aren’t born with high EQ, people learn it. The best time to learn EQ is during one’s childhood (as a child is more easily influenced than an adult). Psychologists often recommend helping children talk about their emotions as a way to understand the feelings of others. But words account for only a small part of how we attach meaning to emotional communication.

Teaching children to understand the meaning of posture, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other body languages will be much more effective in enhancing their understanding of their emotions and those of others. It is never too late to learn to become emotionally intelligent but the sooner it starts the easier it is.

 

Example #2 – Working with Emotional Intelligence

The book “Working with Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman deals with the emotional assets and liabilities of individuals in organizations. Emotional intelligence is traits that go beyond academic achievement or IQ.

As a matter of fact, he points out that high academic intelligence can sometimes stand in the way of emotional intelligence. Broadly speaking, emotional intelligence determines how well we handle difficult situations, which cannot be solved by logic, but more by a “feel” for the situation.

These attributes are very hard to measure, which is why many standardized tests, whether academic or for employment, fail to measure these attributes, even though these are the ones that determine to a large part how successful individuals will be in an organization.

Goleman divides his book into several chapters. At first, he examines the attributes of successful people. What is it that sets them apart? How do they do it? He examines the “soft skills” of several people who exhibit exceptional emotional intelligence and also what others fail to do, which ultimately makes them unsuccessful.

He also points out the difference a single individual who possesses these skills can make to an organization. These skills are particularly important in diplomatic services, but also to the average salesperson. However, he also notes that the higher one climbs on the job ladder, the more important these skills become, and the less important technical skills are.

He divides emotional intelligence into five areas.

  1. Self-Awareness, which can be subdivided into emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence.
  2. Self-Regulation, divided into self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, and innovation.
  3. Motivation, which consists of achievement drive, commitment, initiative, and optimism.

The preceding attributes are classified as Personal competence, while the next two are classified as social competence.

1. Empathy divided into understanding others, developing others, service orientation, and leveraging diversity and political awareness.

2. Social Skills, consisting of influence, communication, conflict management, leadership, change catalyst, building bonds, collaboration, and cooperation as well as team capabilities.

Goleman then goes on to explain how self-mastery is a part of emotional intelligence. It is the art of being able to control one’s emotions. The ability to listen to one’s inner feelings, using and controlling them, without letting them control you.

Feelings often get in the way of even the most gifted people. They can be a liability in any position when they cannot be used in a constructive way. This can be apparent in many situations where group work is required or in sales situations for example.

The third major chapter deals with people skills, which is the art of anticipating how others feel, how to influence their emotions, and how to works together with others. These are the skills necessary for performing well in group situations. Being able to anticipate, what others won’t, and how to use this to reach one’s own goals.

The fourth chapter then deals with the task of actually trying to improve corporate training and assessment programs. The challenge here is to find a way to determine which current or potential employees have the necessary skills to succeed in an organization. As mentioned before, these skills are not easy to measure and so assessing employees is not easy and the recommended steps are only guidelines to help in this process.

The fifth and last chapter deals with how organizations themselves can improve to actually facilitate more emotional intelligence among their employees. This starts with the corporate mission statement as well as the attitude and behavior that is displayed and supported by the organization. It is the organization’s duty and also in its best interest to promote practices that enhance emotional intelligence because it enhances teamwork and the general operating climate.

These skills start with the company itself, all the way from top management through all the ranks of the operation. The goal is to engage all employees to share their emotional competence in a constructive way, enabling better teamwork and overall performance.

Overall I think that Daniel Goleman’s book is very well written and makes a lot of sense. Emotional intelligence is definitely becoming more and more important in organizations and life in general. However, I also think that measuring and developing these skills is a lot more difficult as being presented in the book. Many of the qualities that Goleman points out are simply natural to each individual and I don’t think that one can work on these a whole lot.

I believe the best one can achieve is being aware of these qualities and deficits within oneself. As far as acting upon them is concerned I believe that one’s intuition and “gut feeling” or logic will almost always take over when it comes to first responses. Thus improving one’s emotional intelligence is definitely a very lengthy process and often the results will be less than once thought.

Self Assessment

As far as my self-awareness is concerned, I believe that I rank relatively high. I am almost always able to recognize my own emotions and what kind of effects they have on my behavior. I believe that I am very well aware of my strengths and weaknesses, however, I think I have a slight tendency to be overly confident. Sometimes I also have a problem correctly defining my limits, which can lead to me performing below my own expectations.

However, I possess very good self-control. I think I am very good at keeping my emotions at bay and not letting them influence my actions. This is not particularly difficult for me because I come from a culture (Germany) where you are being taught from early on to control your emotions.

Trustworthiness is very important to me. I always try to keep my standards of honesty and integrity at the very highest level. This has been taught to me by my parents all of my life and it is the prerequisite for me to feel good about who I am. On the other hand, I am a little slow when it comes to handling change. I usually like things the way they are and need to be convinced that changes are good before I can embrace them.

This does not have any influence on my being comfortable with innovation though. I believe that constant improvement is very essential in everyone’s life and advancement. I usually promote new ideas and also like to try them out if they seem promising.

As far as my achievement drive is concerned I believe it is moderate. Sometimes I get a little complacent, being happy with who I am and where I am. This in return makes me stop earlier in projects than I should, sometimes not achieving my full potential.

Group members can always depend on me though. My initiative and optimism are outstanding because I hate nothing more than letting other people down. So I always strive to give my best for the group and stay confident and optimistic that the set goals can be achieved.

As far as my social competence is concerned, I believe that I have a moderate ability to understand others’ feelings and perspectives, and sometimes I probably do not take enough interest in their matters. I sometimes do not anticipate others’ needs well, although this is sometimes different in client relationships, where I can be very attentive to the client’s needs.

I am very good at reading group dynamics, however. I have a good sense of developing opportunities through different people and can use a group’s hierarchy and power relationships well to achieve goals.

I have plenty of experience with influencing others and winning them for my cause. Most of the time they willingly agree with my arguments, because I always try to explain them in the most logical way. I can also listen well and give others a sense of trust. This then lets me effectively lead groups, because the members usually have faith in my ideas and abilities.

The downside however is, that I usually like it more to work on my own than in a group, because I think I can accomplish more without having to “carry” inactive members. So overall, I think I rank relatively high on emotional intelligence, but then again, doesn’t everyone think that?

 

Example #3

Emotional intelligence(EI) is defined as “the capacity for recognizing a person’s own feelings and those of others, for motivating themselves and for managing emotions well in themselves and other relationships” (Goleman, 1998). Serat (2009) on the other hand defines EI as the “ability, capacity, skill or self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others and of groups” (p. 2).

EI has significantly gained popularity in the world mainly because of its association with a person to manage his/her own emotions and handling other people. It is believed that people with high EI are not only good in knowing and understanding themselves but are also able to sense and respect other people’s emotions.

More to this, Serat (2009) argues that high EI people are more optimistic, affable, and resilient than people who have lower EI. Over the years, analysts have drawn a fine distinction between Intelligence Quotient and Emotional intelligence while stating that people with high EI are able to cope and relate with others better than people who have high IQ but are devoid of high EI levels.

Analysts agree that EI is important. However, they are yet to devise ways through which IE can be measured. The different instruments available for measuring the same sometimes overlap or divulge thus making it hard for ordinary people to know just what is the appropriate tool of measurement (Cherniss & Goleman, 2001). Admittedly, EI is a complex issue that has been the debate of numerous debates.

One thing that analysts seem to agree on is the fact that EI is a combination of emotional and cognitive abilities. To this end, Goleman (1998) states that EI is the combination of “emotional centers of the brain (the limbic system) and the cognitive centers (prefrontal cortex)”.

Cherniss & Goleman (2001), states that EI provides a bedrock for effective performance by individuals in their respective places of work, thus encouraging development in any given society. In managers, the authors argue that high EI is a tool that enables conflict resolution to take place more easily, and effectively than would be the case if the manager had low IE levels.

According to Goleman (1998), EI has varied competencies, some of which have a clear relation, while it is still unclear about how some of the competencies are related. The author suggests that self-awareness produces social awareness and self-control. The two on the other hand are responsible for breeding social skills in a person.

According to arguments presented by different authors, this essay holds the opinion that EI unlike IQ is not a pre-programmed quality in the brain. One gets the impression that some of the qualities of EI can be deliberately acquired. Mersino (2007) for example argues that getting in touch with one’s feelings is a good starting point for developing EI. Further, the author states that self-awareness can be learned. This then means that a person with low EI can still work at developing the same to higher levels.

In addition to self-awareness, Mersino (2007) suggests developing accurate self-assessment skills. This regards viewing one-self accurately and even seeking opinions regarding one’s behaviors from others. Citing Daniel Goleman, Mersino (2007) identifies self-assessing people as those who are conscious of their strengths and weakness; reflect and learn from past experiences; open to feedback, lessons, perspectives, and beneficial comments; and possess a sense of humor towards their achievements and failings.

Citing Gardner (1983), Goleman (1998) identifies seven categories of intelligence. They are: Intrapersonal, interpersonal, bodily/kinesthetic, musical, visual/spatial, logical/mathematical, and verbal/linguistic. Goleman (1998) however associates EI with emotional competence, which he argues is responsible for self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Under self-awareness, a person develops emotional awareness, self-assessment skills, and self-confidence. Under self-management, one gains emotional control, transparency, optimism, initiative, adaptability, and transparency. Under social awareness, one develops service orientation, organizational awareness, and empathy. Under relationship management, one is able to relate with others, develops conflict management skills, and is able to develop inspirational leadership skills, in addition to team working skills (Goleman et al, 2002).

Ruderman et al. (2001) argue that while high IQ can result in high competencies, it does not automatically result in high EI. As such, the authors identify a need for highly intelligent people to develop their EI capabilities in order to be able to relate well with other people.

Most notably, Ruderman et al. (2001) note that people with high IQ levels are good performers at work, but rarely know how to relate with other people. Because of their skills and competencies, they look down on other people who are not as skillful as they are, and if put in managerial positions, are more likely to command people under them rather than create work teams where strengths can be shared. “Such characters make you wonder how people can be so smart, yet so incapable of understanding themselves and others” (p.3).

According to Ruderman et al. (2001), emotional intelligence can not only be learnt but can also be enhanced. They suggest that the first step to developing IE is coming to terms with one’s emotions. The next step would be to deliberately guide thoughts and actions towards a particular identified path.

In management, Rudeman et al (2001) argues that EI has been in existence for much longer but was known as ‘peoples skills’. People’s skills were a management concept that was endorsed for use in managers, since analysts had proved that managers who possessed the same were more successful than those who did not. While the importance of intellect was not underrated in workplaces, the same in management positions was seen as a complementary attribute.

According to Ruderman et al. (2001), a manager needs to engage other people in the management process. This calls for proper people engagement through talking and listening, influencing decisions and laying a good environment for consensus building. The manager is also responsible for putting people working under him or with him at ease.

This however is closely related to the manager’s happiness. If the manager is always angry, impatient and fails to understand other people’s positions, he or she is more prone to knee-jerk responses. This means he can be quick to anger and lashing out at other people.

Generally, people who are self-aware have a better understanding of their strengths and weaknesses and are therefore more willing to seek assistance beyond their strengths. They also appreciate other people’s strengths and are more willing to chip in when others need help.

 

Example #4

Leadership is an important skill to develop if you want to succeed in your chosen profession. You don’t need to be in a leading position to be a great leader, developing strong leadership skills will benefit you no matter where you are placed in an organization.

So what makes a good leader and how does Emotional intelligence play a role? Leadership is all about communication, how you relate to, and engage others. Effective communication is based on presence, trust, and influence. If you want to be an effective leader, then you will need to address how well you relate to others and how comfortable they are in communicating with you.

This can be addressed by looking at your Emotional Intelligence (EI). Those with high levels of emotional intelligence are successful at communicating because they have an awareness of themselves and others. They also have the ability to control their own emotions and those of the people around them, no matter how stressful or frustrating a situation may be.

So what exactly is Emotional Intelligence and why is it important to a leader? In a nutshell, Emotional Intelligence is all about emotional awareness and control of yourself and others.

Emotional Intelligence in 4 Simple Steps
There are four basic aspects to Emotional Intelligence as outlined by leading EI expert Daniel Goldman:

  1. Self-Awareness. You know and understand yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses. With a strong self-awareness, you have the ability to observe and manage your emotional responses. You also appreciate how others respond to your emotional responses.
  2. Self-Management. You are in full control of your responses and behavior. You do not react without consideration of the impact your actions will have. Those leaders who have a strong ability to manage their behavior tend to build a high level of trust with their followers.
  3. Social Awareness. Knowing and understanding your own emotions is one thing, having the ability to understand the emotions of others is something completely different, and extremely beneficial in building strong leadership skills. Considering the emotions of others will enable you to communicate emphatically in a way that resonates with each of them.
  4. Social Skills. This element is almost self-explanatory. A leader who has good social skills knows how to communicate effectively. A leader who can manage the social environment whether it is positive or negative is going to be able to engage staff, manage conflict, and build a strong, productive team.

The goal of any leader is to achieve the desired results in as productive an environment as possible while building a strong team and a positive culture. This becomes so much easier if communication flows in a positive, engaging manner. Staff will step up and work to their strengths when they feel they are heard and acknowledged. A workplace with a negative, stressful environment is going to have the opposite outcomes.

 

Example #5

The ability to express and control our own emotions is important, but so is our ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Imagine a world where you couldn’t understand when a friend was feeling sad or when a co-worker was angry.

Psychologists refer to this ability as emotional intelligence, and some experts even suggest that it can be more important than IQ. Learn more about exactly what emotional intelligence is, how it works, and how it is measured.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic. Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence.

In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990).

The Four Branches of Emotional Intelligence. Salovey and Mayer proposed a model that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotion, and the ability to manage emotions.

  1. Perceiving Emotions: The first step in understanding emotions is to accurately perceive them. In many cases, this might involve understanding nonverbal signals such as body language and facial expressions.
  2. Reasoning with Emotions: The next step involves using emotions to promote thinking and cognitive activity. Emotions help prioritize what we pay attention to and react to; we respond emotionally to things that garner our attention.
  3. Understanding Emotions: The emotions that we perceive can carry a wide variety of meanings. If someone is expressing angry emotions, the observer must interpret the cause of their anger and what it might mean. For example, if your boss is acting angry, it might mean that he is dissatisfied with your work; or it could be because he got a speeding ticket on his way to work that morning or that he’s been fighting with his wife.
  4. Managing Emotions: The ability to manage emotions effectively is a key part of emotional intelligence. Regulating emotions, responding appropriately and responding to the emotions of others are all important aspect of emotional management. According to Salovey and Mayer, the four branches of their model are, “arranged from more basic psychological processes to higher, more psychologically integrated processes. For example, the lowest level branch concerns the (relatively) simple abilities of perceiving and expressing emotion. In contrast, the highest level branch concerns the conscious, reflective regulation of emotion” (1997). What everyone needs to know.

Emotional Intelligence Is the Other Kind of Smart. When emotional intelligence first appeared to the masses in 1995, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time.

This anomaly threw a massive wrench into what many people had always assumed was the sole source of success—IQ. Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigates social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up fewer than two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.

Personal competence is made up of your self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.

  • Self-Awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.
  • Self-Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.
  • Social competence is made up of your social awareness and relationship management skills; social competence is your ability to understand other people’s moods, behaviour, and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships.
  • Social Awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on.
  • Relationship Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions and others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully.

Emotional Intelligence, IQ, and Personality Are Different

Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behavior that is distinct from your intellect. There is no known connection between IQ and emotional intelligence; you simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is. Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50.

Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Although some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, you can develop high emotional intelligence even if you aren’t born with it.

Personality is the final piece of the puzzle. It’s a stable “style” that defines each of us. Personality is the result of hard-wired preferences, such as the inclination toward introversion or extroversion. However, like IQ, personality can’t be used to predict emotional intelligence. Also like IQ, personality is stable over a lifetime and doesn’t change. IQ, emotional intelligence, and personality each cover unique ground and help to explain what makes a person tick.

Emotional Intelligence Is Linked to Performance.

How much of an impact does emotional intelligence have on your professional success? The short answer is: a lot! It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result. Talent Smart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills and found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs. Your emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills—it impacts most everything you say and do each day.

Emotional intelligence is the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence. Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we’ve found that 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence. On the flip side, just 20% of bottom performers are high in emotional intelligence.

You can be a top performer without emotional intelligence, but the chances are slim. Naturally, people with a high degree of emotional intelligence make more money—an average of $29,000 more per year than people with a low degree of emotional intelligence. The link between emotional intelligence and earnings is so direct that every point increase in emotional intelligence adds $1,300 to an annual salary.

These findings hold true for people in all industries, at all levels, in every region of the world. We haven’t yet been able to find a job in which performance and pay aren’t tied closely to emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence Can Be Developed.

The communication between your emotional and rational “brains” is the physical source of emotional intelligence. The pathway for emotional intelligence starts in the brain, at the spinal cord. Your primary senses enter here and must travel to the front of your brain before you can think rationally about your experience.

However, first, they travel through the limbic system, the place where emotions are generated. So, we have an emotional reaction to events before our rational mind is able to engage. Emotional intelligence requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain.

“Plasticity” is the term neurologists use to describe the brain’s ability to change. Your brain grows new connections as you learn new skills. The change is gradual, as your brain cells develop new connections to speed the efficiency of new skills acquired.

e. Generalization

Does the student learn that Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic. Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence. In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990).

The Four Branches of Emotional Intelligence

Salovey and Mayer proposed a model that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotion, and the ability to manage emotions.

  1. Perceiving Emotions
  2. Reasoning with Emotions
  3. Understanding Emotions
  4. Managing Emotions

What everyone needs to know.

1. Emotional Intelligence Is the Other Kind of Smart.

Personal competence is made up of your self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies. Self-Awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. Self-Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.

Social competence is made up of your social awareness and relationship management skills; social competence is your ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior, and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships. Social Awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on. Relationship Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions and others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully.

2. Emotional Intelligence, IQ, and Personality Are Different.

3. Emotional Intelligence Is Linked to Performance.

4. Emotional Intelligence Can Be Developed.
“Plasticity” is the term neurologists use to describe the brain’s ability to change.

 

Example #6

When we talk about emotional intelligence we talk about the emotions that everyone has on a certain argument, on a certain relation with others. When we talk about emotional intelligence we talk about the way we express our thoughts. When we talk about emotional intelligence we talk about the inner culture that distinguishes each of us.

For a normal person it affects the way of approaching others, the way to relate with others in the ordinary life but, for a leader, it affects the way in which a leader can be an example for others, in which a leader can guide the others, in which a leader can understand how she or he can be a better leader. In conclusion, according to Singh (2006, p.59) “it affects how much you can achieve and the quality and richness of your relationships” so not only leaders have to take it into considerations but all of us.

Now, to find a job but also to succeed in our initiatives it is not important only our technical knowledge but also how can you relate to others, how can you express to others our necessity. “This yardstick is increasingly applied in deciding who will be hired and who will not, who will be dismissed and who will be retained, who will be ignored, and who will be promoted.” (Singh, D., 2006, p.20).

For a leader or for people that aim to be a leader it is a thing that must be given importance and priority: a becoming leader have to study and make exercises to learn how to control his or her feelings, of to understand the others, and to express them what she or he is thinking.

Emotional intelligence can affect and can be affected by a group of skills that everyone could improve through exercises and practice. We can list the skills as being part of three components of emotional intelligence and these are “emotional sensitivity, emotional maturity, and emotional competency” (Singh, D., 2006, p.73).

First, we need to recognize our emotions to know how we react and to act in the correct way to be able to relate better with others. I can make a simple example to explain this process. Let’s say that a person is organizing an event. She tells the others that the event will be on the next weekend that she will collect money from all people. Then she writes in social media, precisely in a group that is very busy, that she will collect money on Wednesday, to book a place to host the event, outside the office. Some people don’t read the message because of the constant update of the content in the group and also don’t noticed that he was outside to collect money.

On Thursday the organizer wrote a message in the group making a list of all people that will attend the event. Some are not on the list. One of them wrote asking for clarification and the organizer replied that he has asked for the money and has written in the group. The person that cannot participate is upset, now, because he thinks that it’s an error of the organizer for not having promptly notified or tried to ask for money, in person, on the scheduled day.

How can this person react to this issue? First, she can understand or not that she is upset. Then, she can handle her emotion or express it. Expressing it, she could start a hard-toned discussion for a problem that is not real: she cannot attend the event, but it is not a serious problem. If she could control her emotion she could move on and the anger will pass and no other will be affected.

A leader must understand what she or he feels and must manage the emotions as, for example, to don’t precipitate in a negative rumination and as to control she or he externalize what she or he is feeling, preventing negative emotions to walk out or emphasizing positive emotions.

Also, both a manager and a normal person has to understand others’ feelings and emotions to relate better with them. In conclusion, a person that is a leader has to be more experienced with emotions and emotional intelligence, so she can better manage herself and others. If a person is able to ignite our passions and inspire the best as well as instill good feelings in those who follow her, we can consider her a leader. (Zeidner, Roberts, R.D., Matthews, 2009, p.268).

 

Interesting Ideas

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic.

Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence. In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990).

Salovey and Mayer proposed a model that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotion, and the ability to manage emotions.

According to Salovey and Mayer, the four branches of their model are, “arranged from more basic psychological processes to higher, more psychologically integrated processes. For example, the lowest level branch concerns the (relatively) simple abilities to perceive and expressing emotion. In contrast, the highest level branch concerns the conscious, reflective regulation of emotion” (1997).


Emotional intelligence is a proposed construction that is somewhat analogous to the construct called general intelligence. It originated within the past 50 years and has received a lot of attention.

Many analytical studies of emotional intelligence have been critical (and sometimes highly critical) of it. For example, EI has multiple definitions that do not agree with one another. Psychometric procedures that have been used to measure EI tend to be transparent, easy to fake, and susceptible to bias. Finally, the construct’s interpretation appears to lack any unique value or benefit.

For some people, EI consists of the four emotional qualities of perceiving emotions, understanding emotions, and using emotions, and managing the emotions of oneself and other people. A different definition says that EI consists of self-awareness, personal insight, self-control and self-regulation, interpersonal skills, empathy, and achievement motivation. While similarities between these two definitions can be seen, they are clearly two different constructs.

Which definition best represents EI if it turns out to be a valid psychological construct? The answer is not simple because there are many additional definitions of EI that differ even further from one another – like whether EI is a personality trait, a form of general intelligence, or a form of nonverbal intelligence.

Some professionals assert that the notion of EI adds very little value over that of a well-proven and more traditional constructs like the Big Five and emotional maturity. Attempts to use EI in the explanation and prediction of behavior have consistently failed to add value beyond personality and ability measures that are already in use.

Because EI appears to be just a reconceptualization of existing constructs, there is no use in creating a new term – except to be “trendy,” to attract attention and to get lots of money from book sales.

As a psychological construct, EI is far from receiving anything like professional consensus. Professional reference to it appears to already be slacking a bit, and it might eventually just fade away.

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