When it comes to relationships, age really should not matter it should be up to the two people only. What is basically being said is age doesn’t have any bearing here in a relationship unless you choose to make it one. It seems that is a perfectly great argument, there are plenty of people that think people who are years apart cannot have a relationship that will last.
I believe it really does all depend on the two people who are having a relationship, as it is there life and the way they get along that will ultimately make their union succeed or fail.
Age differences in relationships are a funny thing as time passes by it becomes less important. A ten year age difference does not seem it is a big deal when you are fifty and the other is forty. If you roll the ages back to twenty-eight and eighteen, then people begin to question the relationship.
There are those that see the two age pairings and question what the twenty-eight was up. Some people would look at the older of two and have the feeling if they were taking advantage of the younger person.
The fact is that we all should not judge a relationship that is based on the ages of the two people involved in it. Because we do not think we could relate to someone that is younger does not mean that the other person cannot. It is also foolish to believe that someone who is younger is old enough to be involved with someone who is older than them. Some twenty-year-olds have their heads on better than twice their age, and some people still feel that they are not old enough to know what they are getting into.
You think by now we would become insensitive to relationships that are big age gaps since we see them daily on TV and the movies and in public all the time. It almost the norm that you see an older man with a younger woman. Some people say that the man is way out of his league. This should be insensitive to us all, but it seems to add fuel to the fire for those that see this sort of age difference as something very wrong (abomination).
It does not help us when we see films spill over into our lives. There have been numerous instances where younger people fall in love with someone that is older than them. When these folks fall in love they are questioned why they fell in love does the older have millions in the bank or is they on their last legs. It does not help the cause when people believe that love cannot ignite regardless of their age, but that is like all marriages are sham and they do not love because of so many ends in divorce.
There are a lot of couples out there who are far apart in years, but somehow they are meant to be together. We seldom hear about the good relationships we only hear about the bad ones because the spotlight is shone on them only.
We really should mind our own business and stop poking our noses in and passing judgment on relationships that have a big age difference. We truly do not know anything about what is going on in these people’s minds and what their true feeling are for each other. At the end of the day, all that matters is how they feel.
There is a funny thing about love. And that is the fact you never tell as to whom your mate will be. Regardless of how long the relationship may be, we never know who out there will be the one we call our mate.
You may have similar interests, backgrounds or have the same sense of humor, but through it all one question sticks out among many folks out in the world today. Does age have a bearing on whether or not to enter a relationship? Some feel that you will eventually fall in love with someone half your age but the thing is how can you tell?
And is that a deciding factor in getting in a relationship? Many are opposed to this as they feel the gap could cause a lot of issues within the relationship itself. There are many different opinions about whether age factors play a huge role in a relationship. Some people say it does not matter and others say it is everything. Some people are like me, sort of in the middle. Age is just a number, or is it? One might think that if a man has been alive for forty-five years than he should possess to be somewhat mature as far as being experienced in relationships.
Well in some cases, while the forty-year-old may be experienced, when it comes to being mature he may not be all the way there. While a person may have experienced a lot of different things in their life, it does not necessarily mean that they have learned from them. It is a sad fact that some people just never grow up. This may be fortunate or unfortunate depending on how you look at it. However, it is a fact of life. If you date this kind of person you are more than likely in for a rocky relationship Maturity is more a matter of personality than age.
According to journalist Vidhi Agrawal, the question of age and relationships is really difficult to answer, especially when the Cupid’s arrow strikes and you fall in love with a person who is 10 years your senior or 15 years younger to you. In historic times, it was common for a man of 30 or 40 years to marry a teenage girl. Then came the period where the difference ranged between two and seven years, with the man being older. Back then there was a simple logic was simple: the man would be the breadwinner while the wife would provide babies. (Agrawal, 2012) In my opinion, I feel that age does matter in relationships.
While it’s not the most important factor it does play a key role in whether or not the relationship sustains a lengthy period or it’s just a seasonal fling. There are issues that need to be considered with relationships that have a noticeable difference in age. These issues are not insurmountable, yet they are obstacles that must be considered and dealt with if the relationship is going to be successful and meaningful to both parties. I feel this way because these days in time relationships are like the wind. Every day it seems like most couples break up as fast as they fall in love.
While numerous married couples who differ in an age now ended up married, they also end up having a divorce due to either: financial problems, fights, or cheating spouses so spending a long time growing old together seems impossible in this day and age. Most relationships today only start with physical attraction or infatuation like magnets but we all know that we are people so we will have desires and attractions to the opposite (or same-sex). Choosing someone that is right for the age is probably a suitable solution to lessen breaking hearts and emotional distress. Another reason I feel that age matters is because people nowadays create labels.
When a young man or woman dates an older man or woman he/she is commonly called “cougar”, on the other hand, when an old man or woman dates younger ones he/she is commonly called a “pedophile”. These two labels don’t apply to people who date 1 year to 4 years older or younger, it only applies to people who are really old like five to ten years age gap. Also in some cultures, the age gap is still approved when the parents of two persons are close friends and they talk about the future of their children and starting to pre-arrange their son and daughter’s marriage when both parents know that they are at the right age. Marsh, 2010) In addition, we define our goals, experiences, and milestones in life by age.
For example, by 21, most people will be a graduate, will have worked for five years and then completed an MBA by 28 and started their own company. Marry and settled with kids by 32, work hard for the next 15 years, and then begin retirement planning. See, this is how the average person generally planned their life. So when an older man marries a woman much younger to him, there can be conflicts over preferences and goals.
She will want to go out more and engage in active pursuits while he will have that, “been there, done that” feeling/attitude and may not participate eagerly. Similarly, the balance of power and dominance would always be on the side of the older spouse because he/she is more mature, wise, and experienced. To them, younger spouses’ need for an indulgence may appear histrionics and attention-seeking behavior. The difference in age could also deepen with time after many years with the partner, thus causing problems.
At first, they have a lot of common interests but after many years somewhere between 5 and10 years, while one of them is getting old, the other one is still young in body and spirit. Because of this, it would be hard to cope with and keep up with one another because they have simply grown apart. This may lead to breakups. Also, an age gap can have an influence on a relationship by the fact it could lead to three main problems which are the sickness and health, different opinions, and the child issue. Sometimes the age gap could be very embarrassing.
For example, when a couple goes out to do shopping to buy clothes and things for them and their children and suddenly the sales assistant talks to the woman/man and tells him/her is that person your daddy/mommy?. That would be very embarrassing and not acceptable even though the person does not mean what he says because in the first place he does not know that this person is her husband. The embarrassment that comes from such relationships with age difference makes the younger partner thinking about why he is putting him/herself in such a situation, while he could be with a person who looks exactly like his age without any embarrassment.
This makes lots of marriages fail. Therefore, having a healthy relationship without the age gap will tackle this problem and makes the couples live happily without embarrassments forever. (Twoface, 2009) An example of these kinds of relationships is that of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. The recently divorced couple was married with an age gap of thirteen years (Demi being around forty and Ashton being around twenty-seven). In these age gap relationships, there were real differences in their interest in physical activities that eventually resulted in the divorce.
While many feel like I feel on this subject, there are those who differ with me on this issue. While many feel age will play a deciding factor in a potential break-up, on the contrary, you have those who feel age does not matter in a relationship because in most cases they want someone to match their level of maturity, having a strong commitment to each other, and having someone serious to talk in a personal way. You have those who feel they have either outgrown their age range or are just mature for their age (whether it’s due to circumstances or surroundings) so they seek companionship with mates older than they are.
You have those who feel as long as both are mature and are making their own choices than age should not really matter. Another factor one will state in the case of age matters is that the younger person would benefit from the older person’s wisdom and experience and the older person feels as if he has been given new life by the ego boost they get from having someone so young finding them attractive. With that, the relationships would be based on only having benefited from each other. These kinds of relationships based on having benefits from each other have never worked before and will never work (Vilbert & Lloyd, 2010).
In conclusion, age does really matter in a relationship to some degree and that’s based on whether the two individuals can handle their relationship with a sense of responsibility and commitment based on their level of maturity in sharing their personal outlooks and goals from their life experiences. (Realsexfacts, 2006) Age gap relationships will always be frowned upon mainly due to their abnormality. Most people would look at a 50-year-old and a 25-year-old together and think “that’s just not right”. I would say for the most part age does matter in a relationship.
While you do not want the age gap to be too significant due to practical reasons like how long the person might have until they die or at what age they will stop having sex and procreating. Also, lifestyle and cultural differences might emerge if there is a significant age difference.
There will in most cases be a lot of protests from friends and family, so opt for something like this only when you are ready to stand against them. This, in turn, depends upon whether you are sure about what exists between the two of you and it’s all that you really want in life. This is not to say that there are no exceptions.
Those are always out there and I guess you should get to know your partner well and know what you are getting into before taking any chances with your life. Follow your gut. The heart wants what the heart wants in the end. It does not matter how ridiculous it may look to other people.
“Age is a Matter of Mind — if you don’t mind, it doesn’t Matter.” but The Bible says not to be “unequally yoked” (weird way to put it… anyway)
It is entirely your choice whether you decide to date someone considerably older or younger than yourself. To some age isn’t a significant factor in dating, while others have a strong opinion and will only date people the same age or within a few years of their age. It is a personal choice.
There are no rules to say you shouldn’t date someone much older or younger than yourself but be prepared for possible judgment from others if there is a considerable age gap.
Of course, even if the age difference is there, you have to look at what you both enjoy. Do you have common interests and desires? If so, then an age difference of any size can potentially be overcome. There’s certainly no sense in throwing away a chance at happiness just because of a number.
It’s just a good thing to be aware of, in case some difference should arise. But if two people are committed to making something work, it can, in spite of any obstacles that might come up. Both of you need to be sure that “Both are in Agreement and on the same page?”
But when there is a large age gap, this is when a relationship can face difficulties. With an age gap, there is always going to be lifestyle differences. A younger person may enjoy nights out with their younger friends and have no interest in starting a serious relationship, whereas, their older partner might be at an age where they want to settle down and spend quiet time alone with them.
However, if one person involved lies about what they want from the relationship then this can cause big problems further down the line. If you want a serious relationship, but the person you are dating only wants a casual one, then you need to think long and hard about whether they are worth sacrificing your dreams for.
There are in fact many upsides to age differences in relationships that can have an extremely positive impact. The younger partner has the potential to extract energy and spark from the older partner. Equally as beneficial, an older lover can provide emotional stability and offer guidance with life choices. However social situations with family and friends can be challenging.
Despite these potential problem areas, many relationships with an age gap are highly successful. The key is honesty and communication. Being open and truthful from the start about what you are looking for in a relationship, and even life is the best way to ensure you are able to achieve this. If both partners are in agreement, then there is no issue. Like with any relationship, if you are happy, have a strong bond, and are committed to making it work, then together you can cope with any complication life throws in your direction.
Levels of Maturity – Immature individuals tend to be funnier and more exciting to be around, but when it comes to the important things – sometimes you can be left disappointed. Sometimes, different levels of maturity can be the deciding factor between your relationship making it or breaking under the pressure.
Warning! If he’s still single/divorced after all these years, there must be a reason? Yes, he may not have found “the right one” yet, but seriously — why is he still single/divorced? Commitment-phobic? Emotionally stunted? Self Centered?
You might want to check out his collection of baggage before you travel any further on this journey with him. Good Luck!
According to the recent studies on life expectancy, women tend to benefit less from marriage irrespective of whether her spouse is younger or older than her (Science Daily). Sven Drefahl of the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Germany, concludes that it is socially and psychologically most beneficial for a woman to marry a man of exactly the same age as herself. The reverse is true for men – the younger the wife, the longer the husband will live.
Despite such scientific studies, men and women have consistently chosen younger or older partners for centuries and have enjoyed fulfilled relationships. It has often been the norm in many societies for older men to prefer younger women as their life partners, and it is now increasingly common for women to marry younger men. Some embrace this behavior as an off-shoot of the Women’s Liberation Movement and women expressing their new-found freedom of choice. Others in favor of patriarchy continue to condemn these women and men for going against societal norms.
If one has to offer advice to a person considering a long-term commitment to an older or younger partner, some reflection on the future should feature prominently. While a 45-year-old, young-at-heart man might appeal to a 20-year-old woman right now, he might not be so attractive in 20 years’ time when he is retired and lacks energy.
Whatever opinions might be, couples with large age discrepancies will continue to make choices based on what works for them, taking into consideration levels of commitment, maturity, and, of course, love. Age should be considered like any other compatibility factor in relationships. The age-old adage, “love is blind” might still hold value for some.
There Is a cliche that says: “Age Is Just a number. ” Frankly, age does matter. Many people feel uncomfortable when they see a couple where one partner Is much older than the other one. Some consider a younger one to be a “fortune-hunter/gold digger” trying to win an older fool, or the older one Is considered to be a “cradle- grabber,” appealed by the youth and beauty. As we mature, the biggest priority in our long-term relationships tends to be compatibility. We long for someone who understands us, appreciates us and cares for us, above all else.
We all have different ideas as to what is acceptable to us. We don’t choose who we fall in love with, it just happens. So how can we choose what age the person we fall in love with should be? Almost all the time, we realize too late that love is blind. Sometimes, the age difference between the two lovers makes no difference. Although, most relationships with large age gaps don’t last very long, and working to stay together is not a walk in the park. There are so many factors that test your compatibility that you really have to weigh your options and think twice about any kind of relationship you get into.
Emotional maturity is the biggest hurdle in relationships with an age difference. If there’s a huge maturity gap, then age definitely does matter. It can play a huge part In deciding your date as a couple. Younger lovers are almost always more restless, Impatient and enthusiastic, while the older lovers are responsible and reasonable. Let’s look at It this way, do you work out every morning while your partner likes sleeping late? Are you an early sleeper while your partner stays awake till dawn? Do you prefer waffles and bacon for breakfast while your partner likes a nutritious breakfast with calculated calories?
Or Is Rihanna on your playlist while your partner prefers The Guess Who? Youth is wasted on the young, but it’s still an experience that’s cherished for a lifetime. Live youth to the fullest and really, live like a teenager. Once fresh meat has hit the hallways, what’s stopping a senior from robbing the cradle? Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it for a teenager to consider dating an older person. They will end up losing their precious teen years trying to pretend to be a mature adult just because they’re dating one.
Older men and women know how to snag someone in their teens because they already know how to impress and draw a younger teen looking for attention. Almost always, their intentions are only to take advantage of the younger ones naive and innocent. It’s absolutely selfish to rob someone else of their youth for their own happiness even if the young one is an easy catch. In conclusion, it’s not really age that’s the issue, it’s maturity and life experience that counts. The answer really Is a personal thing. There Is no right or wrong answer, s long as both parties are over the age of consent.
At the end of the day, age difference In relationships is all In the head. If glances and conversations of other people bother you, could you ever Just be happy? If you cant learn to overcome your doubts, It’s better to stay out of it. Does Age Matter In Relationships? By princessy Does Age Matter in Relationships By Princess Wy There is a cliche that says “Age is Just a number. ” Frankly, age does matter. Many people feel uncomfortable when they see a couple where one partner is much older bigger” trying to win an older fool, or the older one is considered to be a “cradle- for us, above all else.
We all have different ideas as to what is acceptable to us. We in deciding your fate as a couple. Younger lovers are almost always more restless, impatient and enthusiastic, while the older lovers are responsible and reasonable. Let’s look at it this way, do you work out every morning while your partner likes breakfast with calculated calories? Or is Rihanna on your playlist while your partner hit the hallways, what’s stopping a senior from robbing the cradle?
Personally, I don’t lose their precious teen years trying to pretend to be a mature adult Just because one’s naive and innocent. It’s absolutely selfish to rob someone else of their youth In conclusion, it’s not really age that’s the issue, it’s maturity and life experience that counts.
The answer really is a personal thing. There is no right or wrong answer, the difference in relationships is all in the head. If glances and conversations of other people bother you, could you ever Just be happy? If you can’t learn to overcome your doubts, it’s better to stay out of it.
Example #6 – Interesting ideas
Yes, in some cases it really doesn’t matter, but look at the general couples in the world most are 15-year girls dating 23-year-olds.it makes no sense to date someone that has no job, and if they do have a job there probably not making enough to even support themselves
Also why date someone younger then you are you. that desperate. In my opinion, if your 16 dating a 19-year-old that’s not that bad, but it’s disgusting when an 11-year-old is talking to a 16-year-old. I don’t blame girls for having relationships with older men because half the time they do get married and have kids.
It depends on the person and how mature you be in the situation.but if I was in my 20 I would.look for someone in my age route
Instead of picking up a 15 in high school.because of I.cant no one else.so age does and does not matter.its one of those things you can’t get to agree on.and for people to say that teens are too young to understand love there wrong, rare to.sea a highschool couple go through years of dating.
It matters to me…I prefer people less than 10 yrs my junior or senior…I just don’t tend to have much in common when the age gap gets large, and we tend to be in different places in life. I’ve had guys as young as 18 hits on me and I’m 44. Someone young enough to be my kid or old enough to be my parent just holds no appeal.
Age isn’t just a number, it’s also often an indication of maturity, life experience, etc. Not always of course, but often…
Some say “if you love them, age shouldn’t matter” but you know someone a long time before love develops. There is no love present when you learn what their age is. Love is irrelevant.
Age should only matter if the maturity of either person is an issue. If a twenty-year-old is dating a thirty-year-old and they see eye-to-eye and they are both just as mature, they should go for it. However, if one of them still acts like an immature, partying, brat, it shouldn’t happen until they are both acting the same age.
Age doesn’t matter as much as maturity. Someone who is 18 and someone who is 30 has nothing in common. The 18-year-old still has no life experience and they are in very different places.
When you are under 18, it matters more. A couple of years is a huge difference in life experience, freedoms, and legal rights. And in some states, it does count when you aren’t having sex-criminally.
It does not really matter, but I don’t think it’s legal for someone 28 to date a minor. Also, 11 years is a lot. It might seem like a good idea now, but be sure you know what you are getting in to. You might regret it later. If you really like him though, go for it next year when it’s legal but make sure you know what you are doing! With that kind of age difference, it can be tough once you realize it is a mistake (only if it is though of course). Other than that, don’t let age get in the way. Good luck. REALLY watch out though.
It can to an extent. Eleven years is a lot of time especially with the ages you mentioned. It has nothing to do with maturity, but with life experiences. You quite simply have not gone through what he may have gone through that he may have. You haven’t had your college experience, your party time (legally) at 21. I don’t know for sure of course, but you haven’t done all that you wanted to do before settling down.
I realize you aren’t talking about marriage, just dating, but there is a lot of life to experience out there that even dating can hinder to an extent.
Also, no offense to you by any means, why at 28 is he looking at someone 11 years his junior? He may be a very nice, innocent guy, but it still is a bit off.
With that said, I agree with your mom. If you find someone that treats you well, then you should do what makes you happy. Just think of the pros and cons before jumping into anything.
Oops – I want to add, after the major life milestones, I see nothing wrong with a large age difference. I just think with starting out, you should experience life to the fullest first.