Self-confidence is accepting yourself with all your flaws and strengths and taking pride in them socially and within your head. By following these uncomplicated and legitimate ways you can totally boost up your self-confidence Flaunt your flaws The number one reason you are not confident is that [you assume you have flaws. Flaunt your flaws. Flaunt all the things that are weighing down your confidence. If you are not happy with your teeth, smile, and smile more.
Take pictures of you while smiling. stop photoshopping your flaws when posting your pictures online. If you want to wear a certain type of clothes do not step back because of your body type, pull it off with confidence, and feel beautiful. Try to great people first and loud If you are not feeling at your best to be a part of an event or to communicate with someone, one thing that can actually help is try to open up first and say hello.
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Try to be the first person to initiate the conversation and this will for sure elevate your self-confidence Keep control over your facial expressions No matter less confident or nervous you are feeling always keep your facial expression like a winner.
Put a smile on it will do wonders, mainly it will give signals to your brain that you are okay and will make you feel confident in real but also that smile and relax facial expression will give an impact that you are feeling confident Find your hidden talent and work on it Any talent in itself has a talent of bringing along confidence. If you have any talent and you are aware of it, you already have self-confidence.
Give attention to your talent, work on it, enhance it, and take pride in it to bring confidence within yourself Frame your replies and do not rush When you are asked a question and you are not sure about the answer, do not just start random rambling. Wait to give yourself some seconds to think about it, frame an answer, and go for it with a firm confident voice.
This kind of experience not only will give you a sense of confidence right after but also will prepare you for the next big things in your life Appreciate good things about others Whenever you see anyone so ordinary-looking try to purposely look for their best features.
It could be their eyes or the way they talk or how smart and genius they are and when you consciously start this practice of finding something beautiful in others to appreciate, you will also end up liking things about yourself which are holding up your confidence and it will make you appreciate and respect yourself Do not shy away from practicing at home When you have practiced well you automatically have self-confidence.
This practicing rule applies to everything. If you are not feeling confident about speaking in front of a group of people make sure you practice well. Practice everything the pronunciation of the words, how loud you are going to talk, and also the expressions.
If you are not feeling confident about attending a fun event and the way you are going to look at the event. Get read a day before at home wear that outfit See yourself in the mirror and this will calm your nerves down and will also lift up self-confidence Look like a self-confident person Sometimes all you need to groom yourself is just a good haircut. A right haircut exaggerates your beautiful features and enhances your personality. Wear a good scent.
Dressing up right and according to your personality and suited best to your body type can add so much to your self-confidence. It does not have to do with expensive clothing it has to be the right clothing which makes you feel confident and beautiful. Make sure your attire is according to the event according to the weather and your outfit is well pressed.
What is self- confidence? The dictionary defines self- confidence as freedom of doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities. My definition of self- confidence is believing in yourself. Many people lack the self-confidence and self-esteem needed to live a happy and healthy life.
Self-confidence is satisfaction in oneself. This must be present in people’s daily lives in order for them to believe that they have the ability to do anything. At this point in my life, I am trying to gain the esteem I need to truly be happy.
Self-confidence is something that cannot be taught. It is up to someone to decide how much belief that they possess inside of themselves. I am at the point where I realize that I must first believe in myself before others will believe in me. Nobody teaches us to be happy or sad. They are natural feelings that come along as we develop mentally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
Self- confidence can vary in different aspects such as fake, temporary, or true confidence.
False self-confidence is when someone talks big and acts like a big shot, but in reality, they have zero self-confidence. It can be both negative, for people who take it overboard, or positive, for people who try to build them self- confidence. The quote “fake it till you make it,” is also relevant to false self-confidence in a positive manner basically saying they are going to build up their confidence no matter what.
False self- confidence can also show that you are overconfident. Some people fake self- confidence to not look weak or scared to others. By faking your self- confidence, you can also gain your true confidence, which is the positive effect. Another aspect of self- confidence is temporary self- confidence. Temporary self- confidence happens when you get some sort of achievement and get excited while believing in yourself. When you achieve an award, opportunity, etc., you start taking the confidence you have then, too far, and then take a risk.
Taking a risk in this temporary emotion can lead to many negative and/or positive solutions. Temporary self- confidence can help you achieve or lose an accomplishment(s). Also another aspect of self- confidence is true self- confidence.
True self- confidence is the confidence that does not count on recent achievements or results. It has to do with a strong sense of inner trust. True self- confidence has a person doing the right thing, no matter the outcome of their actions. People with this type of confidence act in their best interest and trust and understand that doing the right thing, has positive results. Self- confidence is a belief you have in yourself and your abilities.
There are three aspects of self- confidence: false, temporary, and true self- confidence. False is self- confidence when you talk big, but do nothing when it’s time for action. Temporary self-confidence is when an event or achievement gives you a boost and that boosts can make you take a risk.
True self- confidence is when you actually believe in your capabilities, trusts yourself, and makes you do the right thing. All these aspects of self- confidence come back to the main definition. These aspects also have a positive and/or negative effect on the person and their confidence. Self- confidence is the ability for you to believe in yourself, so do it while you can.
I believe in lacking confidence, but I also believe that you shouldn’t let others see that self-doubt. I’m sure people who are reading this probably think I must be crazy in order to say this, but hear me out. I have always been a person who was shy and lacked self-confidence.
Even if everyone else thought I was the best at something, I still had a mental block that caused me to feel self-doubt. I used to think this quality was only weakness, something that continued to hold me back from trying new experiences and taking chances. Many times I tried blocking out the doubt, but I just didn’t feel myself.
During one of these times, I realized those same insecurities helped me excel. They forced me to put in the time and effort needed to be prepared for anything. I had to repeat things over and over until I got them perfect even if it was “good enough.” It kept me grounded and focused on the goal at hand. But at the same time, feeling too unsure of yourself can cause others to doubt your own abilities, which is what started to happen to me. That is why self-doubt must be used behind a curtain.
So, what I am saying is that SOME self-doubt can be a good thing. Feeling unsure about yourself can make you more focused and more prepared than you ever thought possible, but at the same time having too much doubt, like me, can be very restrictive. Walking that fine line of how much is too much and how much is too little is tough, but without a doubt, my confidence lies within my lack of confidence.
Confidence has an intellectual element and an emotional element. In other words, confidence is the FEELING and BELIEF that you will succeed at whatever purpose you are pursuing, whether it be brushing your teeth, building a business, pursuing a woman, or anything else. The opposite of confidence is anxiety, which is the feeling that you will fail at pursuing your purpose because a threat or obstacle blocks the path.
Generating the intellectual aspect of confidence is much easier than generating emotion. To generate intellectual confidence, all you need to do is analyze the facts in your possession and formulate a plan. If the facts clearly indicate you will succeed, you can confidently soldier ahead. If the facts clearly indicate you will fail, you can decide to go do something else, certain that you did the right thing. If the facts are uncertain (like in most situations) you can confidently soldier ahead until you collect additional facts, which will tell you whether to keep going or do something else. You may also decide to confidently risk failure if the facts are uncertain if you think that failure will not be so bad.
The difficulty of generating confidence, however, is getting your subconscious mind to generate the feeling of confidence. Your subconscious mind generates emotions based on a complex analysis of the data available to it, and your intellectual analysis is often a relatively unimportant piece of data to your subconscious mind.
When your subconscious mind feels like you can succeed at your chosen purpose based on its calculations, you feel energized, excited, focused, single-minded, and determined. Your body language, tone of voice, and demeanor become that of a confident person. You do not need to read a book or website to tell you how to act confidently – you just naturally feel and act confidently. Our subconscious minds evolved to recognize the confidence, so other people will know you are confident as well.
If I put a suitcase with a million dollars in a trashcan across the street and you knew for a fact that there were no obstacles to you going and grabbing that suitcase, you would confidently grab it. You would run with vigor, excitement, and joy. You would not be timid, anxious, or care what anybody thought. You wouldn’t think much, or get distracted, or worry if you were doing the “wrong” thing. You would just do it.
On the other hand, if your subconscious mind feels like there is a threat on the way to the goal you are pursuing, or that there may be a better goal you could pursue, you feel anxious. Anxiety freezes you to force you to reassess the path you are on. When seized by anxiety you feel timid, low-energy, and stressed, like something is preventing you from moving.
Your mind also switches into rumination mode, cycling through distractions and doubts, because it is trying to figure out what to do next. When seized by anxiety your subconscious mind will constantly create excuses for you to not pursue the goal because it is certain you will fail. You will worry about what people think because deep down you think they may be right.
Again, this is all a natural, automatic response – even if your conscious brain knows on an intellectual level that you are on the right path if your subconscious brain thinks you are doing the wrong thing it will cripple you.
Although we like to think of ourselves as rational, intellectual beings, in reality, our rational mind is a relatively new and weak appendage that sits on top of a much larger, stronger, and sophisticated subconscious lizard mind that evolved over millions of years. While our rational mind can only process about 7 pieces of information at a time and pay attention to only a few things at once, our subconscious mind can process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information from a vast array of internal and external inputs. And because our subconscious mind is so much more sophisticated than our conscious mind, it is generally stronger and usually gets it way.
Put another way, humans are primarily emotional beings and most of what we do is controlled by our subconscious mind. Your subconscious is like a different person living inside of you, with a completely separate set of desires, thoughts, fears, and perceptions from your conscious mind. Our rational mind can guide and tutor our subconscious mind, but deeply changing the subconscious mind is a long and difficult process. There are also some changes you just cannot make (you can’t for example, just completely turn off your desire for food or sex).
Our subconscious mind also subtly influences our rational mind’s thoughts. We often make “rational” justifications for the emotions generated by our subconscious mind by means of a process called confabulation. An example of confabulation would be an alcoholic justifying to themselves why “one more drink” wouldn’t hurt. An even better example is our subconscious mind making excuses as to why we shouldn’t approach a beautiful, intimidating woman.
Even though we think we are thinking clearly, our thoughts are actually warped by our subconscious mind. Even worse, many thoughts never even reach our conscious minds because our subconscious mind blocks them.
From a neurological perspective, “anxiety” is not one thing. Rather, it is a set of alarms that go off when your subconscious mind detects threats. These alarms are hierarchically arranged by sophistication. At the bottom of this hierarchy is the oldest part of your brain, the periaqueductal grey, which generates panic in the case of an immediate threat. It is the least sophisticated of the anxiety alarms and is designed to give a quick, imprecise, low-resolution signal while the more sophisticated parts of your brain are trying to figure out what is going on.
Above the periaqueductal grey in the medial hypothalamus, which governs more sophisticated responses to threats, like devising a plan to escape. Above the medial hypothalamus sits the amygdala, which generates an even more sophisticated emotional representation of the threat. And at the top of this hierarchy sits your frontal cortex – the rational, “conscious” part of your brain which is the most sophisticated of all.
Each layer of this hierarchy can inhibit the lower layers, which creates an efficient system: after sensing a potential threat the lower levels immediately set off an alarm, which is then “checked” by more sophisticated parts of your brain. If the more sophisticated layers determine that the potential threat is benign, they shut off the alarm generated by the lower layers. For example, if you are alone in your apartment at night and hear a loud noise, you may feel “startled” because your periaqueductal grey getting you ready for fight or flight.
But if you turn around and see that the sound was caused by a book falling to the floor, the more sophisticated parts of your subconscious mind will realize that the sensed threat was not a real threat, and they will therefore shut off the alarm and inhibit your fight or flight response. But if you turn around and see an axe murdered in your apartment, the sophisticated parts of your subconscious mind will realize that your periaqueductal grey was right, and you need to get running or fighting.
Your anxiety circuit also generates alarms when you are faced with uncertainty or with multiple competing goals. Remember, the purpose of anxiety is to help you figure out the correct path.
While anxiety is necessary to protect you from threats it becomes a problem when the conscious, sophisticated parts of your mind do not shut off the alarms when the alarms do not have merit. Constant alarms make you feel like shit, stressed, timid, weak, crippled and unable to make progress towards your goals. They also sap your energy and enthusiasm.
Paradoxically, when anxiety stops you from making progress towards your goals, you end up failing to collect the very information that anxiety wants you to collect! Worst of all, because your anxiety circuits are constantly registering false alarms where none exist, your subconscious mind is constantly eliminating possible paths from consideration even before they reach your conscious mind, making you an ever-more fearful person.
Your anxiety system can go haywire for a variety of reasons: 1) you have so much chaos and uncertainty in your life that too many threat alarms are going off and your conscious mind doesn’t have the time and energy to individually respond to each alarm, so the alarms just persistently stay on, or 2) the alarms have been going off for so long that they have hijacked your conscious mind to think that the threats are real even when they are not.
Your conscious mind only has so much bandwidth, and if the threats are coming in faster than you can respond to them they just accumulate and you end up with a general sense of dread about everything. And when you don’t respond to the things that are setting off anxiety alarms within you, and instead choose to avoid them, that causes your subconscious mind to assume that those things really ARE threats. Anxiety ultimately becomes a vicious cycle that keeps getting worse and worse.
To take a conservative approach to our safety, nature causes humans (and most animals) to have an over-active anxiety system. Apparently, evolution determined that it was better to have false positives rather than false negatives. If you have a false alarm in the jungle (i.e., your anxiety wrongly registers something as a threat) you may miss out on a tasty treat but if you have a false negative (your anxiety misses an actual threat) you may get eaten by a lion, which is much worse.
While the conservative approach to anxiety alarms was a good evolutionary strategy for more primitive animals, the over-active anxiety system creates real problems for humans because we live in a complex society where many of the threats are abstract, complicated, and may not occur until years into the future.
Training Your Subconscious Mind to See Opportunity
There are three primary methods to train your subconscious mind to see opportunity and success where it previously saw threats: 1) exposure therapy, 2) self-improvement, and 3) autosuggestion.
The best way to train your subconscious mind to feel confident when pursuing a goal is to actually succeed. When your subconscious mind sees you succeed at something, it is much more likely to generate confidence the next time you try to do that thing. For example, most people feel confident they will succeed at brushing their teeth because they have successfully brushed their teeth many times in the past. An expert carpenter will feel confident when doing carpentry because he has successfully done it many times in the past. And so on.
Your subconscious mind may also base its confidence in analogous data. For example, in a novel situation, your subconscious mind may think “I have never faced a situation exactly like this, but I have successfully faced similar situations in the past, and those previous situations were similar enough to make me feel confident I can succeed in this situation as well.” Your subconscious mind might even think “I’ve generally succeeded at novel and uncertain tasks in the past, and I feel like I am a pretty competent, intelligent, and strong person, so even though I have not quite faced this exact situation in the past, I am confident I will succeed here as well.”
To feel confident, your subconscious mind needs to see a clear road to the finish line, which requires you to generate a plan and a routine in your life that minimizes threat and uncertainty and provides a clear, consistent stream of wins as you pursue your goals. If your subconscious mind thinks the plan you created is too difficult and the wins too remote, you will feel unmotivated, so you will need to re-adjust your plan and your definition of “win” to make the wins feel more attainable.
For example, if a particular task or plan is too intimidating to your subconscious mind, you can generate confidence by breaking it into smaller, less intimidating tasks that your subconscious mind feels like you can do. For example, if you are intimidated by the prospect of writing a paper, you can start by just opening your Word processor and typing a word. Your subconscious mind may doubt that you can write a paper, but it knows you can type a word so you will feel motivated to take that first step and type a word.
Once your subconscious mind sees you succeed at typing a word, then you may feel enough confidence to type a sentence, and so forth. Similarly, if you are too anxious to approach a woman, you can start with smaller tasks, such as just saying “hi” or asking them the time. I have found the key to success is continually humbling yourself and re-categorizing as “wins” small things that provide you just some incremental progress. Those incremental steps quickly add up. Similarly, therapists often recommend “exposure therapy” is the most common cure for anxiety.
Self-improvement boosts your confidence by giving your subconscious new data by which to calculate your chances of success. You want your subconscious mind to think “we are not the same person that got rejected before, so we will not get rejected this time.”
Part of the reason women love shopping is that it makes them feel confident. By buying new clothes, they reprogram their subconscious mind to think “well now people will like me.” Of course, on a rational level a new set of clothes is usually not enough to make people change their opinion of you, but that rational analysis does not matter to the subconscious mind: it feels confident because the data is now different.
You can improve yourself in many ways, including by lifting, eating better, dressing better, using better hygiene, etc… You can learn how to do these things in other articles, so the only point I will make here is that you can motivate yourself to pursue these purposes just like you would motivate yourself to do anything – break it up into smaller more attainable wins and create a plan and routine that gives you a steady stream of those wins.
Autosuggestion and Delusion
Self-help gurus, philosophers, and mystics have long known that you can reprogram your subconscious mind by feeding it positive data in the form of affirmations, mantras, prayers, or meditations. This form of reprogramming is called autosuggestion – suggesting to yourself you are more competent, strong, and able to succeed than you previously felt you were.
For autosuggestion to work, you must consistently tell yourself these affirmations over a long period of time. Repetition is necessary because your subconscious mind needs a lot of data to change its opinion on your chances of success. The affirmations must be detailed and connected to emotion – remember, the affirmations are for your subconscious mind, which operates on emotion. Whenever a negative thought pops into your head, you must defeat it with a positive thought.
The more tangible and “real” the data, the more likely your subconscious will be convinced. For example, gurus and therapists often tell you to repeat your affirmations out loud or write them down. Some even suggest writing yourself fake apology letters from people who have harmed you – even though your conscious mind knows those letters are fake, your subconscious mind will often be tricked into feeling better. You can also daydream – by fantasizing and visualizing yourself succeeding at a particular task, your subconscious mind will feel more confident when actually performing that task.
Obviously, autosuggestion is a much weaker way to reprogram your subconscious mind than actual success. Your subconscious mind evolved to reject “fake” data, so just saying something to yourself is much weaker than seeing it actually happen. Nevertheless, mountains of data – scientific, historical, and anecdotal – suggest that “fake” data can trick our subconscious mind and generate new mental states.
Religions, cults, art, and superstitions work because of this principle. Religious people often feel closer to God as a result because their subconscious mind thinks that the master of the universe will favor them because they spoke some magic words. Think that’s stupid? Well, if you’ve ever cried during a movie, the same thing happened to you too.
One of the strangest manifestations of autosuggestion is when people start believing their own lies. Even if they knew they were lying in the beginning, after they tell the lie enough times their own subconscious mind starts to believe it. Scammers and cult leaders sometimes fall for their own tricks. Governments and public relations have also learned that you can make people crazy things through simple repetition.
For the autosuggestion to work, your conscious mind must be on board. If you say the words “I know I will succeed” while your conscious mind thinks “I am lying to myself, I can’t do it” autosuggestion will fail. Confidence is a combination of feeling and intellect, so while you do not necessarily need to “believe” your affirmations, you cannot think they are false. Autosuggestion works best when you are about to embark on an uncertain path where anything can happen and you convince yourself to feel like something good will happen. Autosuggestion fails when you are just lying to yourself and you know you are lying.
Articulating and Facing your Anxiety
Despite the steps described here to improve confidence, you may still feel anxiety in certain situations because 1) you have no data to demonstrate to your subconscious mind that you will succeed, 2) all the data seems to indicate you will fail, or 3) you are faced with genuine uncertainty.
When you feel anxiety, you must articulate your anxiety in words to rationally determine what, if any, threats your subconscious mind is sensing. Take a deep breath, step back, and ask yourself: “what, exactly, am I afraid will happen if I try to do this”? To answer this question, you may need to think deeply and brainstorm because it may not be immediately obvious to your rational mind why your subconscious mind is feeling anxiety.
The mere act of articulating your anxiety can reduce your anxiety because it transforms a vague, hazy, undefined fear in your mind into a specific, manageable threat you can articulate a plan against. Once you actually articulate in words the things you are afraid of, you often realize the threats are not as scary as you originally felt.
After you articulate threats in words, you can face them and formulate a plan to defeat them. The plan might be “keep going and don’t worry about this threat” or “keep going and do X thing to neutralize the threat” or “the threat is real and substantial, so you should take another path.” In any event, once you have a plan that leads you to the goal and deals with threats that on the way there, you will feel more confident. Your anxiety circuit is not necessarily concerned that threats exist – it cares more whether you have a plan to defeat the threats. Therefore, you feel much less anxiety when you voluntarily confront the threats rather than when they unexpectedly come at you.
“Articulate threats and formulate a plan to defeat them” may sound like obvious advice, but most people do not follow these steps and their anxiety remains in the mysterious, hazy, unarticulated realm of emotion. When most people feel anxiety, they just give up and decide to go do something else. They don’t examine what caused their anxiety or how to overcome those causes. They just “feel bad” and go do something easy to feel good, like drugs, alcohol, video games, etc… Most people blindly follow their anxiety to stay safe, which actually does often work, but causes them to miss many opportunities when they actually could have overcome the threats.
Articulating one’s anxiety is often terrifying because it forces people to confront their weaknesses. If a man is afraid to approach women, the “threat” blocking his path to the goal may be that he is fat, out of shape, dressed horribly, stupid, uninteresting, etc… Articulating and admitting these problems will be painful and facing his anxiety would require him to fix those problems, which is not easy. Most people ignore their problems and leave them in the ether so they do not need to think about them or admit they exist. I have met many guys who convinced themselves they are amazing with women but are afraid to approach, probably because if they fail at approaching they must face the fact that they are not actually that great with women.
To defeat anxiety, you must believe that it is actually possible to create and articulate a plan to overcome any threat. In other words, you must believe the world is governed by rational rules, you can understand those rules, and you can use those rules to succeed. Anxiety becomes crippling when we see obstacles as immovable and undefeatable. Our fat, uninteresting friend who sucks with women cannot even imagine there are actual steps he can take to improve so he just never does it.
Ignoring your Anxiety
In his quest to vanquish his anxiety, our hero has performed a variety of exercises to train his subconscious mind to no longer feel anxiety. But even after such training, our hero sometimes still feels anxiety, which he deals with by articulating and facing his anxieties. Nevertheless, even after articulating and facing his anxieties, some anxiety may remain. This is usually because our hero is faced with a genuinely uncertain and novel situation. He has no data to demonstrate that he can succeed, nor does he have any data as to what the threats actually are. His anxiety almost is almost completely composed of the fear of the unknown.
At this point, our hero has only one option left: ignore his anxiety and blindly jump into the unknown.
I could have started this article by just saying “ignore your anxiety.” And in fact, most books and articles in this genre just say “ignore your anxiety” or “ignore negative thoughts” and just plow ahead. But that doesn’t always work.
Anxiety is a valuable evolutionary tool that exists for a reason, and if we ignore it we can get ourselves into deep trouble and miss opportunities to correct our behavior. It’s not a coincidence that drugs that reduce our anxiety, like alcohol and marijuana, often cause us to act stupidly: the natural alarm system that protects us from threats has been turned off.
You should only ignore your anxiety when we have trained it, articulated it, and faced it. In other words, you should only ignore our anxiety when you are confident it has nothing valuable to say. Otherwise, no matter how much we try to repress or ignore our anxiety, part of us will worry that our anxiety is right – that that nagging feeling may actually be warning us of a real threat. I have found that sometimes when you try to ignore your anxiety it only becomes louder, probably because something in your brain senses that you are ignoring your anxiety.
Obviously, you cannot spend every moment of your life articulating and thinking about your anxieties. For each particular threat, you only need to articulate and face the anxiety associated with that threat once and then use that confidence going forward.
For example, for approaching women, you need to sit one time and really think to yourself what is so scary about rejection and what you can do to minimize that threat. But you complete this exercise, you no longer need to think about the negative effects of rejection every time you consider approaching a beautiful woman.
The key to managing your anxiety is faith.
We live in an infinitely complicated, constantly changing universe that is littered with infinite threats, some of which we know about and some of which we do not. There is no possible way that we can think about, face, and articulate every possible threat – we simply do not have enough time or mental energy. Therefore, we need to have a general faith that “everything is going to be ok” and only think about and respond to important threats that exceed a certain threshold of seriousness.
At any particular moment a wide variety of terrible things you can happen to you: you could get struck down by lighting, you could get cancer, a plane could crash on you, your company could fail and get fired, etc… Most of these dangers are technically threats but they are not likely enough for you to worry – therefore you must ignore them. Most of the things you worry about never happen, so you might as well have never worried about them!
In my personal life, I try to follow the following rules:
1) I ignore all threats unless there is some compelling reason to focus my attention on a particular threat or threats,
2) I consider each threat as minimally threatening as I possibly can be given the data that I have, and
3) I only focus on one threat at a time unless I absolutely must spread my attention over multiple threats. In other words, I try to minimize the seriousness of any threat until the data is overwhelmingly clear otherwise. I only respond to anxiety alarms that are very loud and even then, I try to shut the alarm off as quickly as possible.
To some of you, this approach may sound unsafe or overly risky, but it makes logical sense. First, as a practical matter, you only have the mental ability to focus on and respond to one threat at a time anyway, so at any particular moment, you have no choice but to ignore all threats except for the most serious and pertinent ones. Even then, you can’t spend all day responding to threats so you need long stretches of time where you just ignore threats completely. Second, unless you have concrete data that a particular threat is real, imminent, and dangerous, there is no rational reason you should worry about it.
Third, if you are facing an uncertain situation where you are not sure about the seriousness of the threat, you must use whatever data you have. For example, I invest my money pretty conservatively because, even though each individual investment has an uncertain outcome, I have collected enough data in my life to generally know that most investments will fail, most business plans are shit, and most people are overly optimistic about their businesses, so I only invest money if I have a clear reason to believe that the venture will make money.
For this approach to work, you need to do your homework, collect data, and face your threats squarely when you detect them. If I do not collect data about investing, and on top of that I ignore whatever threats I do see, I will lose my money every time. I do not ignore threats so I can live my life like a blissful retard, I ignore them so I can focus on the ones that actually matter.
Of course, no situation remains uncertain forever. Sometimes you blindly jump into a novel situation with fake confidence and fail. That’s ok. Every time you fail, you get access to new data with which you can 1) fix your existing issues, and 2) retrain your subconscious mind to feel confident.
Imagine you approach a woman and she rejects you. Most people will take that data as evidence that they will always fail at approaching women, so they will just stop approaching. But if you get rejected, you should rationally analyze your approach and figure out what you did wrong. Of course, sometimes it’s not clear why she rejected you, and if you do a thorough analysis of the data and cannot figure out what happened, you should just not worry about it.
You should also always assume that your “mistake” was as small as possible – you cannot let your imagination run wild with thoughts about how terrible you are. Again, unless you have compelling evidence to the contrary, you should assume you did nothing wrong.
Over time people’s feelings about themselves and others change. They may feel strong and indestructible one minute then something that could change the way they feel. A certain event could change one’s self-confidence. People become different when they are exposed to a certain situation.
They can also take a 180-degree turnaround and become a totally new person. In Stephen Cranes The Red Badge of Courage the main character changes from a coward in the beginning to a stronger courageous character at the end of the novel.
Henry Fleming is a young naive boy. He is not sure what to expect when he goes to war. He has a conversation with the other soldiers in his regiment. They think that some of the soldiers will run during a battle. Henry has a strange feeling that he may be the one to run when the time comes. Does he decide to bring up the topic during a conversation with another soldier by saying Think any of the boys will run?
Another soldier responds Oh there may be a few of em, but there s them kind in every regiment, especially when they first go under fire (17). Henry is afraid now after hearing what the soldier had to say. Henry is confused about war. One critic notes about Henry s feelings: Henry felt proud and daring when he left home to go to war, but now he wonders how he will do when confronted with the reality of battle (Napierkowski 255).
Henry’s feelings about the war are false. He has never been exposed to war before but now he will and is not really sure what to expect. When Henry first goes to battle he is relieved when the rebels retreat. But when they turn back and start firing Henry loses his cool. He panics. He yelled with fright and swung about…he was like a proverbial chicken. He lost the direction of safety (52). Henry has lost all sense of direction and is very scared. He has no idea of where to run so he follows everyone else who ran.
Henry is in a state of delirium. He cannot go back to his regiment because they will not accept him back into the group. They will turn their backs on him just like he turned his back on them. Finally when Henry stops running he hears a general speaking of the win that Henry s regiment just captured. Henry is completely shocked The youth cringed when he found out his regiment won the battle.
He could hear the men celebrating. He was amazed and angry. He felt that he had been wronged (56). Henry feels ashamed that he ran from the battle. One critic describes Henry s feelings: On the one hand, he feels like a criminal for running away and on the other, he feels as though he has been created by the fate of his glorious career as a brave soldier (Napierkowski 256). Henry feels guilty for leaving the regiment. He feels very ashamed and regrets running from the battle.
After things settle down Henry feels humiliated. He roams around the different camps. Henry does not have any self-confidence anymore. Again he thought that he wished he was dead. He believed that he envied a corpse. (83). Henry has nothing to do. He wishes that he never ran in the first place. Something has to happen that will change Henry s future.
Finally, something happens. Henry receives his red badge of courage, he adroitly and fiercely swung his rifle. It crushed upon the youth’s head. (87). Henry is struck in the head by another soldier. This is the action that changes Henry s future. Napierkowski notes After he receives his red badge of courage Henry begins to be a stronger person and his shame disappears. (257). Henry now has an excuse to give to his regiment. He can tell them that he was wounded in battle. They will take him back.
After being hit on the head Henry is carried back to his regiment. a cheery young soldier leads Henry back to his camp. The regiment accepts Henry and they nurture him so he will be able to fight again. Henry feels relieved. Henry feels his self-pride is totally restored. he had performed his mistakes in the dark so he feels he is still a man. (105) Henry is still in pain because he got hit on the head but lets out a great sigh of relief. Napierkowski noticed this too and wrote He is greatly relieved not to be exposed as a deserter and enters into the battle with a sincere desire to be brave. (256). Napierkowski hit the nail right on the head. This is when Henry realizes that he is getting a second chance at becoming a war hero.
Henry s character has changed when he goes back to the battle. He is a stronger courageous soldier. Henry fights strongly and feels better about himself after the first battle back. These incidents made the youth ponder. It was revealed to him that he had been a barbarian, a beast. He had fought like a pagan who defends his religion… he had been a tremendous figure. (118) Henry finally fought valiantly. He has gotten over his fear of battle. Henry shows many signs of pride and courage.
During a battle, the flag bearer is wounded and drops the flag. Henry s decides to take action With this terrible grin of resolutions he hugged his precious flag to him and was stumbling and staggering in his design to go the way that led to safety for it. (153). Henry shows patriotism when he carries the American flag. He has no fear of dying in the war and grabs the flag.
He is praised by his officers because what he did was great. One critic notices Henry saves the flag and pushes his boys back to battle and is praised by the officers. He is seen as a valiant soldier. (Napierkowski 256). Henry feels very proud of himself. He has accomplished a lot up to this point.
Henry Fleming was a really weak character at the beginning of the novel. He showed many signs of fear and was really confused as to what the war would bring. When he ran at the beginning he was in a panic. He could not tell what direction he was going in. At the end of the novel, Henry had completely changed. He knew exactly what to expect when he was fighting. Henry wanted to be a war hero like the Greek legends and did not realize what it would take to be one.
He now realizes that there can never be such a thing as a Greek warrior hero. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to overpower the fear that is encountered during battle. Even the grown men were afraid of being defeated by the rebels. Henry has a new view of the battle. He saw that it was not always glorified. People make the war seem like its a good thing but really it’s not. He was changed by the things he saw while he was roaming around after he ran like a coward.
Confidence is your key to a successful life. Confidence is not merely a term, but it is a set of beliefs that you have in yourself. It determines how you perceive yourself and what you think you are capable of.
One of the basic reasons why so many people are under-confident is that they have gone through many negative things and disappointments in their life. Therefore, they hardly believe in themselves anymore. Fortunately, the solution to regaining confidence is pretty simple, but maybe difficult to implement.
You just have to replace these negative beliefs with positive affirmations; you have to change your mind-set. This is a sort of reprogramming of your mind at both conscious and subconscious levels.
If done correctly, the method of positive affirmations is one of the most powerful and practical methods ever devised. All you need to do is repeat positive affirmations for 7 to 10 min every night.
As you keep on doing this for a few days, it will become a habit, and within a short time, you will start noticing positive and better things happening in your life.
Confidence is a belief in yourself. If you want to be confident you have to change your beliefs about yourself. In order to this, you have to consciously identify the subconscious beliefs you’ve developed over time about yourself from your interactions with the world. Also start observing your behavior. Pay attention to times you are agreeable, submissive, or subservient. Ask yourself why you acted that way. What beliefs about who you are or who you were interacting with made you behave in that way? Start reading about self-actualization.
You can build confidence through taking action, getting outside your comfort zone, and challenging yourself. Some examples are making an effort to be more sociable, or joining a gym and getting into better physical shape. Above all else, don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you or how anyone reacts to you. Decide how you feel about yourself and realize that’s all that matters. I’ve included a link below for more advice on how to become confident. Check it out.
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