What is love – A Reflection Essay
Love is the best feeling in the world, and it can also be something that scars you for life. Love is not often used in the right way. It’s not a word that you can just play around with. People often get sexual passion and romantic love mixed up with one another. What do you think the difference is between sexual passion and romantic love is? In the story of “Love as an Experience of Transcendence” by Charles Lindholm was different philosophers pint of view of the difference between sexual passion and romantic love.
“Passion,” Simenon said, “is a malady, it’s possession, something dark. You are jealous of everything. There is no lightness, no harmony” (172). Passion is something of darkness and jealousy. Many people get passion and romantic love mixed together. In a passion relationship, all it is about is sex, sex, and more sex.
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When someone in the relationship is tired, not even tired of having sex; when one of them has a lower sex drive than the other than you really start to see how different you are. Every little thing about that person bothers you. You try to find reasons not to talk to them abut then that word LOVE gets intertwined into all of this passion. You think that to yourself, “do I love him/her?” Even though you do not, you try to force yourself to believe that you do because that is all that you have known. In my opinion, that is how young marriages get ruined.
Sexual passion cannot compare to the wonderful feeling in which love brings. “Love, that is completely different. It is beautiful. Love is being two in one. It is being so close when one opens his mouth to speak, the other says exactly what you meant to say. Love is a quiet understanding and a fusion” (173). I totally agree with that quote. The meaning of love is far much more complex and wonderful that the meaning of sexual passion.
When you are in love you feel as if you are on top of the world. Nothing brings you down because you know that your lover is there to pick you up. Love feels extremely unreal. When you’re in love you should have to pinch yourself to see if you are awake or not. That’s the true feeling of being in love. Do you feel that way about the person that you are in love with? If you don’t feel that way then sorry you’re not in love.
Another philosopher that gives his perspective on love is Irving Singer. He believes that we assess the other to discover if they have the attributes, we long for; if they do, we love them. Love is a matter of calculated self-interest. In a way, I believe in this also. I think that this thought originates the phrase that everyone mush has heard of, “love at first sight.” Let us define “love at first sight.” You see someone of the opposite sex (but nowadays it can also be someone of the same sex) and you are like that is a beautiful person. This point clearly shows that you don’t know anything about their personality, their bad habits, you do not know anything about that person.
All you know is this person’s physical appearance. That’s not falling in love. When you see that person, what are you going to do? Get their phone number; ask them out on a date. The reason that you are even going that far is that in the back of your mind you say, “I would LOVE to have sex with that person,” or “he or she has a nice body.”
That, my friend, does not love. That is the problem with most men. That is why women turn all crazy and go psycho on us. We make ourselves believe that we love someone and then later we are no longer blinded by that person’s appearance. You finally tell them the way you really feel. If you do not build up the courage, you will be enslaved forever.
Love should have nothing to do with sex. Let me back up for a second here. Love should not be based on sex. Who made up the phrase, “I want to make love to you.” That is a trick to get one to have sex with you. I know because I have used the phrase before to have sex. Love is mostly based on sex. Who says that if two people are in love they have to have sex? Sex is not an obligation of any relationship. It is an obligation of a non-love relationship. Ovid says that what the lover wants is clear enough: sexual passion (173).
His emphasis is on the game of love, and he teaches his readers, both male and female, how to idealize imagery of romantic passion, that can be used with style and grace by intelligent seducers to help them gain sexual access to those who they desire while avoiding the attentions of other who they find unattractive (173). That right there would have to be my believing of most high school relationships.
In high school, the coolest thing to was to find a girl that you thought was the most attractive in the school and have sex with them. That was the biggest thing for my friends and me. Another thing was to see who could have sex with the most girls. It was only an egotistical train of though. Therefore, women, please don’t hold us at fault for being immature little boys.
Love is a word that no one should play with. I can relate to thins paper from recent experiences. My beliefs and actions were of those described in the above paragraph. I like to call it the Ovid theory of love and sex. At one period of time in my life, I thought that I had love at first sight. However, it was far away from love, it was lust. It is strange how some words are opposite but somehow people can try to convince themselves and others that they have that one powerful thin and that one powerful thing is LOVE.
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