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Asian Americans Essay

ASIAN AMERICAN DISCRIMINATION. Discrimination of itself is not a bad thing. Discrimination can be justified in many cases – such as discriminating against homosexuals country singers – but in general, discrimination is unacceptable. Perhaps the heinous form of discrimination is that which takes place between white Americans, and people of any other race, in particular Asian-Americans. The total reasons entailed in making Asian-American Discrimination (AAD) so atrocious are innumerable, but there are a few that bear mentioning, and I will do so forthwith. The first reason to avoid and defend against AAD is the nature of birth. That is, people cannot control where, in what manner, or of what ethnicity they have been born. An Asian male will fornicate with his wife or sister and an Asian spawn will happen. Nowhere in that process does the spawn have any power. Obviously, if it was left up to this creature, it would have chosen to be born American.

The Asian spawn is thus blameless. We cannot punish them for their inferior stature, or for their natural desire to master the violin, or even yet for their obsession with cats as main courses, as all of these defects are genetic, inherited by the parents. This brings us to the next point, that being; any Asian who has not had an offspring is blameless, however, once an Asian participates in the breeding process and thus spreading The Asian-American Condition (TAAC), it should be persecuted ruthlessly. The very idea of an Asian actually conceiving is totally hypocritical. Every Asian is born with a loathing for their parents for making it an Asian. But lo and behold, twelve years down the line that same Asian which was disgusted and hateful – and rightfully so – with its father/uncle and mother/aunt, will turn right around and have sex with a sibling – nearly half the time of the opposite sex – and make an Asian of its own, and thus continuing the cycle and supplying the world with a new host of TAAC.

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But for the sake of simplicity, we shall talk from here on in of Asians that have not contributed to TAAC in any form, which is another way of saying that I will only be defending virgin Asian-Americans from AAD. This will essentially limit us to Asians without siblings under the age of sixteen, and Asians with siblings under the age of eleven or twelve. The only adult Asian-American virgins are usually less than four feet tall. The group which I just mentioned, are – ironically – some of the greatest victims of AAD. In school, male Asian-Americans of this age group are constant recipients of the scornful remarks concerning their virtually non-existent sexual organs. In the streets, Asian-Americans of both sexes is mugged an average of three times a day. Parking meters for Asian-Americans are to be “between twenty-six and twenty-nine inches off the ground and must charge a minimum of 240% of the national average fee.

Additional fees may include but are not limited to sexual favors, indentured servitude, and death.” [Article III, sec. 12, paragraph 2, line 5 – Constitution of the United States]. Sometimes even the authorities step in to enforce that the national level of AAD remains high, which is ridiculous. But perhaps the most extreme form of AAD in our society is called “shit throwing”. As you probably guessed, shit throwing is the act of picking up Asian-Americans and throwing them from creative locations, such as the back of moving pick-up trucks, or out of sky-rise buildings. Though this may not seem to be such a terrible offense at first, consider the possibility: What if the Asian-American you have selected to throw was going to be the first Asian-American to live its natural life without any form of incest, bestiality, or reproduction? The mere possibility – however unlikely – is risky enough that AAD should be avoided (when dealing with female Asian-Americans) until you administer a hymen probe (take the nearest elongated object and insert into the Asian-American’s vagina, probe in and out until you are sure whether or not the hymen has been broken), the result of which procedure will determine your course of action.

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If it turns out that the hymen had not previously been broken, then you should let the Asian-American go on its way without any form of AAD unless that is, you want to perform a public service by demonstrating to it what AAD the future will most like a bear for the poor creature (as the hymen at this point has now been broken for any probes that will take place thereafter, thus ensuring that other good American citizens who administer the probe will assume that the Asian was not virgin). If that is the case, then it is advisable to make sure that you explain that you are not actually participating in the AAD, that instead, you are just giving a warning for what to be prepared for. As it is impossible to determine the sexual innocence of an Asian-American male, it is our duty to assume, and help others to assume, that all of them are indeed virgins, and do not deserve AAD.

Unless of course, they have gone through puberty. In which case the Asian-American male is fair game since by that age national polls have shown that over 98% of Asian-Americans have at least attempted sex with two other species of rodent. So next time you are going to try to fight TAAC with AAD, pause a moment and think, “…is it really worth it? Does this particular Asian-American deserve discrimination?” and you can’t go wrong. Having practiced this “pause and think” technique for almost seven years, I have yet to determine that a single Asian will not benefit from a little good-hearted discrimination, but that is not to say that I never will, so I continue to think before I act. If you do so too, you can be as good of an American citizen as I am.

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Asian Americans Essay. (2021, Mar 24). Retrieved September 30, 2022, from